Fall in Love With Yourself This Valentine’s Day (And Beyond)
Falling in love is great, but falling in love with yourself is even better. Miley Cyrus said it best in her latest self-empowerment anthem, “I can buy myself flowers / Write my name in the sand / Talk to myself for hours, say things you don’t understand / I can take myself dancing and I can hold my own hand / I can love me better than you can.”
Light your vanilla scented candles, treat yourself to a bubble bath and reclaim self-indulgence this Valentine’s Day. There is a remaining toxic stigma around being single on Valentine’s, instead it should be a time to pamper yourself with the same kind of love you would shower on anyone else. Regardless, it’s important to show up for yourself, needs and boundaries all year round beyond the romantic holiday. Show love and appreciation by extending it into your external world in whatever simple self-care activities that bring you healing, joy and relaxation.
We’ve been experiencing a cultural shift in the way we approach romance and what it really means to be dating yourself. Discovering self-love is probably one of the most liberating experiences anyone can have to tackle feelings of external validation, self-doubt and loneliness.
Dating yourself is a beautiful and needed concept to embrace by taking chances to invest in your relationship with yourself. Whether it’s immersing yourself in daily rituals, journaling practices or extreme self-care, everyday is an opportunity to splurge on yourself. Unpublished has compiled a list of 10 activities to put your own love first this Valentine’s:
Meditation. This practice is a great way to ground yourself in body, mind and spirit. It allows for a time of relaxation and rejuvenation. Find a meditation practice rooted in self-love that is comfortable for you and focuses on the heart chakra by laying down in a comfortable position and placing your hands over your heart and imagining a radiant, white light surrounding the heart. Focus on this light for as long as you want and feel it expanding. During this time, meditate on any blockages you are trying to clear and how you can show up for yourself more. This is a beautiful way to connect to your heart space.
Mirror affirmations. Shower yourself with love and remind yourself why you fell in love with yourself in the first place. Stare at yourself in the mirror for however long needed and repeat mantras such as “I love my mind, I love my body, I love the way I show up for myself daily. I am the creator of my own reality and everything that I desire flows effortlessly in my life,” and anything else that is empowering to you. There is a lot of power behind saying self-love affirmations and being intimate with yourself in that way.
Learn to say “no.” Establishing secure, safe boundaries to protect your time, energy and emotions is essential to avoiding burnout. An effective way to start practicing setting boundaries is checking in with yourself and having time for self-love daily. Making time for what matters most to you translates to other areas of your life. This Valentine’s and beyond, let go of what no longer serves you and say no to the plans you do not want to attend, the people that drain your energy and self-sabotaging behaviors. Stand in your power and never apologize for it.
Do something kind for someone else. You can do little acts of kindness throughout the day such as complimenting someone, writing a letter to a loved one, buying someone a cup of coffee or donating to a cause you’re passionate about. This can be an opportunity to appreciate all your connections and the ones that really nourish your spirit. Spread the love forever and always.
Splurge on yourself. Is your love language gift giving? If so, why not speak that love language directly to yourself. Engage in activities that bring you comfort and that elevates your mood and boosts your energy. The goal is to spend money and energy on something that makes you feel confident, whether that’s a new pair of shoes or perfume or a massage service, give a gift to yourself that’s timeless and meaningful.
Spa day. Get out all your favorite tools like face masks, scrubs, steams and perfumes to treat your body and skin. Glow brighter than ever this season in the comfort of your own home. Light some candles and pamper your body. Take this time to connect with your inner self and be lavish and selfish with your needs. Listen to your body and what it’s trying to tell you.
Be out in nature. Go for a leisurely walk and ground yourself in nature. Everyone knows being outdoors is nourishing for the mind and body. Find a nature trail, walk on campus or go by the beach, wherever you feel most at peace and listen to the sounds around you. Enjoy this time being with yourself.
Take yourself out on a solo date. This one may seem like the hardest, but is far the most rewarding. The only way we can grow is by getting out of our comfort zones. Date nights with yourself mean you can do exactly what you want to do, when you want to do it, without taking someone else’s interests and preferences into account. Dating yourself can really mean investing in yourself with self-care practices and doing the things you want to do. It can mean nourishing your body with scheduling a yoga or dance class, it can mean splurging on yourself or it can mean trying something new.
Buy yourself flowers. Queue “Flowers” by Miley Cyrus and go to your local florist shop and pick out a bouquet for yourself with all your favorite flowers. While it’s almost too easy to get caught up in the heart-shaped holiday, it’s important to spend time by yourself and consider adorning your life with a reflection of your own love through flowers.
Journaling. Start with self-acceptance. Reflection is a great tool to check-in with your thoughts, feelings, goals and dreams. By becoming more attuned to your emotional needs, you’ll be able to strengthen your emotional intelligence and be more aware of your own behaviors, empathy skills and be able to show up for yourself and others better. You can also make a list of all the things you are grateful for. Do you show love and prioritize yourself? Take note. This can also be a great time to write yourself a love letter. Similar to writing self-gratitudes, you can also write a letter to express all the aspects of yourself that you appreciate or highlight your self growth and healing journey. The key throughout this practice is to set a timer and don’t stop writing until it rings. Whatever comes to mind, just let it out on paper and you may discover something new about yourself. This is one of the most intimate self reflections you can do this Valentine’s.
As Carrie Bradshaw of Sex and the City once said, "the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself." Learning to love being alone is one of the best things you can do for your investment in yourself and future relationships. No matter what is happening in your life, you are the only person who has ever comforted yourself when crying yourself to sleep and have been the only person to be resilient enough to overcome the hardest moments in life. Get to know yourself and enjoy being your own romantic partner this Valentine’s Day and beyond.