The Rise of Romanticism
I don’t know about you, but lately, my TikTok ‘For You’ page has been plastered with jokes about being the “main character.” Pretty girls and loud friend groups have flooded my feed, all the while urging me to drop what I’m doing, and start romanticizing my life immediately. Seeing countless moments of spontaneity captured on camera, like singing in the car with the windows down or packing up your belongings and going on a last-minute trip, immediately intensified my desire to experience even a fraction of what my FYP has been showing me. Upon reflection, I realized that this idea of romanticization is not a new concept; its aching familiarity and hopeful longing is the entire basis of the coming-of-age film genre. This begs the question: if these ideas and emotions have been present in coming-of-age films for so long, why are we only now seeing an expansion in the movement to see our lives as better than they are?
The sentiments behind these TikTok trends take inspiration from those iconic, coming-of-age moments, such as montages, indie music, romance, profound dialogue, and plots where, upon first glance, nothing really seems to happen. However, coming-of-age films thrive in narratives without any significant plot events, because at the end of the day, they are stories about people who are consumed with the desire to find meaning in their lives and feel important - just like you and me. We know this because usually, films are made to reflect what we see and feel in real life, which allows us to relate and make personal connections to the work. In an effort to understand the current TikTok phenomenon, I came across the most interesting of opportunities: the chance to turn things around, and instead of letting real-life dictate our stories, use those stories to tell us why we do things in real life.
1. The Perks of Being a Wallflower (2012)
“I know these will be stories someday. And our pictures will become old photographs. We’ll all become somebody’s mom or dad. But right now, these moments are not stories. This is happening”.
Part of being a teenager is having that overwhelming sense of existential dread and awareness that one day, we won’t be young anymore. In an effort to fight this fear, we seek to immerse ourselves in the now and think only of what is about to happen. To think ahead is to miss what is right in front of us. That, in itself, is the epitome of teenage-hood; everything is fleeting and no one wants to be the one to miss out, so we sharpen our focus and choose to be in the present. This may be fueled by our fear of the unknown or the future, but we know that. We lean into that feeling because that is what growing up is about. To quote the famous TikTok audio; “You have to start thinking of yourself as the main character because if you don’t, life will continue to pass you by.” In a world where the reality is that we’ll all grow to be old and boring one day, we grasp at being young and try to hold onto it for as long as possible.
2. Lady Bird (2017)
“I wish I could live through something.”
On the other end of the spectrum, teenage-hood often brings forth feelings of restlessness and anticipation for what life in ‘the real world’ has in store for us. Yes, time passes in the blink of an eye, but sometimes high school feels like it will go on forever, and everything seems to be moving in slow motion. Being stuck in our hometowns with college lingering on the horizon can make life feel painfully dull, leaving us yearning for something exciting to happen to us. This is the focal point of countless coming-of-age movies, including Lady Bird. High schoolers with nothing to do and nothing happening to them - a trope that we can all relate to. We romanticize our lives because we want to experience something meaningful. Part of romanticization is to see depth in the encounters that may seem like nothing at the time, which leads to the bolstering of the little things in life to turn them into our most life-changing moments. We wish for something to happen to us, anything so that we can feel like we “lived through something,” and through the eyes of romanticism, we do.
3. Almost Famous (2002)
“I always tell the girls, never take it seriously. If you never take it seriously, you never get hurt. If you never get hurt, you always have fun. And if you ever get lonely, you can just go to the record store and visit your friends.”
The only time in our lives when we don’t have to take everything seriously is while we are young. There’s something freeing about knowing that the homework was due two hours ago, but instead, you drove in circles and did nothing with your friends, and this is the only time you can indulge in that feeling. The nagging reminder that this wouldn’t cut it in “the real world” is always there in the back of our minds, but sometimes, being young is about not caring about the consequences and just having fun. Penny Lane said it best: hanging out with friends can often feel therapeutic, and so many problems in our young adult lives can be easily remedied with a visit from our friends. I know that I still get the burning desire to neglect all of my responsibilities and go see my friends, and sometimes, that’s just what we need to feel better. It’s good to let loose every once and a while and pretends that we’re the main characters.
4. 20th Century Women (2016)
“Whatever you think your life is going to be like, just know, it’s not gonna be anything like that.”
Deep down, I think we all know that in some ways, life sucks. Let’s look at the facts: in this moment, we are in the middle of a worldwide pandemic, the current US president refused to condemn white supremacy in the recent presidential debate, there are protests across the country and world against police brutality that are being met with none other than police brutality, and the rights of women and the LGBTQ+ community are now in danger because of the unfortunate passing of RBG - along with the countless other injustices going on in the world. With this list alone, it’s clear why anyone would want to believe that life is better than it actually is right now. So much ugliness is rearing its head every single day, making it harder to have hope in our futures and the world. But, if we can accept the disappointing aspects of life, it’s much easier to look at the little things and see them as those moving, coming-of-age moments that we love in film. Car rides with friends, the sun going down, and screaming the words to ‘All Too Well’ by Taylor Swift in the Taco Bell parking lot may seem like inconsequential things, but suddenly, they are a powerful source of light in our lives. Because we want to hold onto that feeling, we choose to see the beauty in each of those moments. The act of romanticizing is nothing without the active choice to see the good in a situation, so even when things are bad, we can still keep that small bit of sanity and decide to see our lives as better than they may be right now. Without this pocket of hope, our lives and the world would be a much darker place.
In conclusion, the rise of romanticism in 2020 makes perfect sense. Wanting to see the world as better than it is through the medium of social media is our modern way of coping with the realities of life, while still leaving our mark. I know that our generation will be the one to change the world and fight back against oppression, injustice, and bigotry, but that doesn’t mean that we can’t sit back sometimes and live our lives as the main characters in our own coming-of-age films. We deserve to see the goodness in our lives and feel grateful for all of the little things that make everything worth it, and if that means that my TikTok ‘For You’ page is going to continue to be flooded with “Romanticize Your Life” content, then so be it.