Why We Can’t Get Enough of the Enemies to Lovers Trope

I’ve been a sucker for a good old-fashioned enemies-to-lovers story for as long as I can remember. From fawning over Kat (Julia Stiles) and Patrick (Heath Ledger) in 10 Things I Hate About You to more recently devouring every scene shared by Catherine (Elle Fanning) and Peter (Nicholas Hoult) in Hulu’s The Great, love stories featuring snarky banter, serious tension, and ridiculously hot almost kisses have always been a guilty pleasure of mine and I’m sure many others. Like all clichés, it has its pitfalls but when done right, the enemies-to-lovers trope can provide us with some of the most entertaining content. 

‘Enemies to lovers’ could be considered an umbrella term for a variety of situations. While they may literally be enemies, usually our two characters in question are not actually sworn enemies but rather find themselves at odds with each other or have come to dislike (maybe even despise) each other for some reason. Maybe they’re school or work rivals or maybe their first meeting was a total nightmare. Whatever the backstory is, the thing that brings all enemies to lovers stories together is that there is some sort of animosity between the pair in question. 

The trope is popular amongst both audiences and writers for many reasons. Perhaps the most classic enemies-to-lovers tale told is that of Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy in Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice. The story is beloved by so many for its charming wit and of course heartfelt romance. Several screen adaptations have been made, most notably the critically acclaimed 1995 British television series starring Jennifer Ehle and Colin Firth and Joe Wright’s 2005 film starring Keira Knightley and Matthew Macfadyen. Pride and Prejudice’s witty banter, slow burn pacing, and incredible show of character development are all part of what makes it a successful enemies-to-lovers story. 

With respect to the enemies-to-lovers trope being used in film and television, our two lead actors must have undeniable chemistry. This goes for any successful on-screen romantic pairing, but it’s even more crucial in an enemies to lovers story. Even with a good screenplay, no one is going to root for characters that already dislike each other to end up together if there is no attraction or connection felt between them—something that the actors are responsible for bringing to life. Even the more trashy enemies to lovers movies can be enjoyed when our actors can pull off a convincing romance. Obviously the more chemistry the better. It’s hard to imagine what our favourite TV and movie couples would be like with different actors. Take the recent obsession with Bridgerton’s Jonathan Bailey and Simone Ashley. Anthony’s delivery of the line: “you are the bane of my existence and the object of all my desires” to Kate Sharma would not be effective in leaving fans feeling all the feelings if it wasn’t for all the delicious chemistry between Bailey and Ashley throughout a season full of back and forth quips and stolen glances. 

The enemies to lovers trope also offers another thing viewers love: conflict. Conflict is necessary in any story, but the enemies to lovers dynamic itself presents as the central conflict. The characters' initial feelings of hostility or loathing towards each other are usually at the center of any larger external conflict they may face. In an effort to overcome these interconnected levels of conflict, our characters are forced to grow and develop—another aspect of what makes enemies to lovers stories popular. As our main characters fall in love, they come to fully accept each other, despite all the things they previously couldn’t stand about the other. From a viewer’s perspective, we can’t help but feel pleased when we see how far they have come. Furthermore, the conflict surrounding an enemies-to-lovers story helps build the tension felt between the two characters. It’s always fun to watch characters argue, try and fight their growing attraction, unexpectedly feel jealous, and then suddenly become aware of their feelings. By putting these enemies soon to be lovers in close situations, all of that emotional turmoil builds up until they (and we the audience) can’t take it anymore. Conflict keeps audiences engaged and the enemies to lovers trope offers this to us in spades.

Along with conflict, audiences also crave anticipation. Again, this is a key element in many narratives, but like conflict, it’s already at the heart of an enemies-to-lovers story. Most of the time we already know our main characters will eventually end up together, and while the final result is always satisfying, it’s the buildup to that moment that we get so invested in. The slow-burn nature of the enemies-to-lovers trope offers us all the tension and angst we so desperately want. So, even though we already know where our story is headed, the enemies-to-lovers trope still manages to keep an audience engaged. So when we follow Harry Burns (Billy Crystal) and Sally Albright (Meg Ryan) on their journey going from bitter acquaintances to close friends to finally getting together in When Harry Met Sally or when we watch Princess Leia and Han Solo go from constantly arguing to falling in love in the original Star Wars trilogy, it’s the time spent coming along for the ride that ultimately gives us the satisfaction when these characters get their happily ever after. 

Though very popular, the trope hasn’t gone without its fair share of criticism. Various pieces of media have been called out for romanticizing toxic behaviour and relationships. Some critics claim the enemies to lovers trope contributes to this. There is always reason for concern when we see abuse of any kind either being glorified or downplayed in media. From my personal experience however, most enemies to lovers dynamics, such as the ones depicted in rom-coms, are lighthearted in nature. Usually any antagonizing actions taken by our characters in an enemies-to-lovers story adds to the drama and fun of it all. More importantly, what I believe separates a good enemies to lovers story from just a toxic relationship being labelled ‘enemies to lovers’ is a balanced dynamic. Whatever issues our main characters have to work through, the character development that comes from that must go for both of them. As a result, they both grow as individuals and ultimately work as a couple. One character is not supposed to “fix” the other. It’s true that our consumption of media has warped expectations when it comes to romance, particularly for young people. However, it’s important to separate those stories using an otherwise enjoyable trope in an acceptable manner from those that are poorly written. 

Yes, the trope is neither ideal nor realistic (though I’m sure there are some couples out there that would tell you they couldn’t stand each other before falling in love) but that might be another reason as to why so many of us enjoy it. We use books, movies, and any work of fiction really as a form of escapism. And similarly to why some of us love works of fantasy or science fiction, an enemies to lovers dynamic is something we (or at least the majority of us) get to only experience through reading books or watching movies and television. Sure I’m (probably) not going to be fighting for the crown The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement style or find myself in a Katherine Heigl rom-com situation anytime soon, but these are the types of dramatic and amusing scenarios that are fun to watch unfold on screen. 

The bottom line is that the enemies-to-lovers trope succeeds in keeping us entertained. It’s fun, feisty, makes us swoon, and wants more. So sit back, relax, and let’s enjoy the time we spend screaming at our favourite fictional nemeses to just kiss already.