Guilty Pleasures Are Hindering Not Helping
Growing up, I recall a multitude of situations in which people would ask “So what is your guilty pleasure?” with a sly smile on their face like I was about to reveal my darkest secrets to them. I guess to them I kind of was. I remember finding the question odd at the time, but I found it equally more confusing when everyone else had an answer. The whole concept confused me, and I remember asking someone to describe what a ‘guilty pleasure’ was to me on several occasions, when I was younger. As when these teens or adults would describe their ‘guilty pleasure’ they always discussed it with excitement, but they still held a layer of shame about indulging themselves in that piece of art, media ect.
What I then understood about guilty pleasures is it is something you enjoy that you either feel embarrassed to admit to either because of other people’s judgments, or because of your own judgments towards yourself. I won’t pretend I never had one, I admit it is easy to fall into the trap of feeling inherit guilt about liking a certain piece of media or art. But the concept still confused me – if something made you happy why would you then attach guilt to that interest or media. But that was sort of my problem. I had more guilty pleasures that I refused to acknowledge, than pleasures I did acknowledge. Also, guilty pleasures are so subjective. In a group of people your ‘guilty pleasure’ could be one of their main interests. That added another layer of confusion, everyone’s ‘guilty pleasure’ was different. It wouldn’t be a consistent subject. It would range from “I love listening to musical theatre” to “I love reading sappy YA fiction”. This variety of ‘guilty pleasures’ that people told me about affected me. It automatically made me feel like because I also had pleasures like that, then I should then have a sense of shame about liking them.
I spent so long trying to push away my guilty pleasures, to not accept them as part of myself. A part of me felt I would be judged. Another part of me just didn’t want to admit that I found joy in things that others or my current friend group looked down upon. This period of my life, of me refusing to acknowledge what my guilty pleasures were. It was possibly one of my saddest points, and my mental health was suffering because of it. I repressed things that brought me happiness because I had such an overwhelming fear of being judged, and for what? It did fuck all. Nothing good came out of me repressing my happiness. It stopped me accepting myself and only hindered my life, not others.
Another reason my guilty pleasures angered me so much is because I was fully aware of my own hypocrisy. I constantly encouraged others to love themselves and accept every part of themselves. To not allow anyone’s judgments to touch them. But then I realised I was doing just that. Adding to that part of society that I despised, I allowed pressure from others around me to adjust my behaviour. To hide my interest and discourage myself from talking about them or allowing anyone to see those parts of me. Then one day, I don’t know what day it was, or why, but I let myself go. I released myself from the grip that other people had on me, and I have never been happier. When I let myself go from that grip, I realised how much I could finally breathe. I saw it in others as well! The girl that told me her ‘guilty pleasure’ was musical theatre, has gone on to star in performances of ‘gilbert and Sullivan’ and many musical theatre projects. The boy that told me he loves reading sappy YA fiction, has gone on to write his own. All because they were tired of the restraint these ‘guilty pleasures’ had on them.
I believe ‘guilty pleasures’ are for the narrow minded and I feel it hinders people from loving themselves fully. Never have guilty pleasures. Never. Like what you like, and love who you love with your full heart. If someone judges you for likening multiple things, that is their narrow-minded problem. Not yours. When you boil down to it ‘guilty pleasures’ are things you enjoy. So out of these two almost oxymoronic words, would you then decide to focus on the ‘guilt’ rather than just the ‘pleasure’?
Please, allow yourself to be loved and accepted in all directions. If your guilty pleasure doesn’t involve hurting or harming other people, then why would you let your guilt cloud your happiness? So as a last piece of advice, love your pleasures with your full self. Accept all of your dimensions.