How to Break Free from Indica and IPAs Through Intention

Being an adult is hard. You have bills to pay, dishes to wash, and a house to tidy up and deep clean. If you’re me, you have seven siblings, 17 nieces and nephews (and one on the way), friends in different states, a boyfriend, and the list goes on. Now clearly, I’m blessed — yes — but right after being blessed, I am busy. Since I moved to Dallas in March of 2022, I’ve been freelance writing and teaching writing. I started a digital magazine and joined a fiction writing class, and I’m working on getting my driver’s license. This is a lot, and I feel overwhelmed, inadequate, and unaccomplished most of the time. So what do I do? I chug a bright-colored beer to lift my spirits or puff a sativa strain of something sour to take the edge off. But what happens when you turn to the can or the clip at 10AM? “Uh-oh” is right. 

I have an addictive personality. I seem to use things as a crutch. Once upon a time, it was biting my nails. As I got older, it became using people. Now, it is abusing substances. When you’re stuck at home during a pandemic, you don’t have the luxury of face-to-face interactions. You can’t just hop into a bikram yoga class like you normally would and you certainly shouldn’t go to a crowded concert or sold out festival, so what do you do? You bring that energy to your own home. And how do you do it? With a bottle or blunt of something strong. So how do you get out of it? You identify what it is you like about each and replace it with a healthier alternative. 

Let’s start here: Drinking and smoking are sensory experiences. You start looking forward to the pop of the can opening or the rip of the lighter. You get used to the scent and associate it with comfort and ease. You enjoy watching the bubbles in your beer or examining the frost in your nug. You savor how the beer hops on your tongue or the bud warms your mouth. And you do this all sip-by-sip, pull-by-pull. With all of your senses engaged, you become one with the substance, so it can be hard to rip yourself away from all the feelings that come even before the high. But here’s the thing: you can find new, similar ways to replace it. 

I experimented with replacing beer with LaCroix seltzer water. You get the same pretty can, the bubbles, the flavors, and you can chug, chug, chug all day long without consequences. I still drink my beer on the weekends (because boy, do I love an IPA) but I no longer reach for it during the week. I’ve cut my drinking down by more than half by replacing it with a similar, healthier alternative. And when it comes to weed, I switched over to CBD flower. You still get to crush it, roll it up, and smoke it, and you still get an effect from it, but you don’t get the psychoactive properties that come with THC (and think about it… why would you want something that proactively makes you psycho?!). 

Drinking and smoking are also artsy. There are plenty of flavors and friendly packages to choose from. One day, you might be feeling like a hoppy IPA and a nug of Girls Scout Cookies. The next day you might be feeling like a pilsner and a nug of Blue Dream. And what starts to happen is that you curate your life around the aesthetic. You choose the beer or bud that correlates with the vibe you want to associate yourself with. While the art and language on the packaging can be enticing (shoutout to the marketers at these companies), it can also be manipulative, and there are better ways to represent yourself abstractly. 

Since starting my magazine, the inspiration for designing one of the poems I’m featuring came from a beer can. I used the design from a “Deep Ellum IPA” can to inspire the poem, “¡No Mas!,” which will debut in my magazine this summer. I’ve also used the packing of a Captain Crunch eighth to inspire one of my acrylic nail sets with dandelion yellow, candy apple red, lime green, and bright blue. In both examples, I was able to recreate the art I was attracted to in ways that will actually last. That’s more than what a bottle or a blunt could ever do for me. 

Now comes the most important part: the effect. Drinking and smoking have an effect that is hypnotizing. With the pandemic crouching us in our corners, it is easy to be seduced by these substances — but it is important to identify what we’re chasing after with each. When it comes to drinking, I’m looking to be lifted and grounded. By the third beer, I’m ready to dance and by the sixth, I’m ready to sit down or sleep. Now that the mask mandate has been lifted in most states and under most circumstances, I’ve replaced the temporary moment of lift from a drink with an airplane flight. The change of atmosphere really elevates the body and forces me to plant myself in my seat as a means of grounding. 

In order to ground myself even after the flight, I’ve meditated more, and that’s helped me come into my body. Sometimes, I feel like my spirit is 10 steps ahead or behind, and every now and then, I feel like it’s somewhere off to the side, but sitting still and just breathing has helped me center myself and pull all of my selves into one place. You’d be surprised by how seldom we allow ourselves to inhibit our own bodies, and meditating allows all of our echoes to come into a single sound. 

With smoking, I realized I was looking for relief and presence. I didn't want to think about the next thing I was going to do or what I’ve done, I just wanted to be in the moment — now. I decided to check into therapy and that allowed me to dissect my past and create my future while being in the present moment. I also replaced smoking weed with taking baths to calm my body down. If you’ve never taken a bath, I seriously recommend it. The warm water, bath bombs, and bubble bars all work together to melt you into the tub and you’re able to stare off into space and just be. Not have to worry about who you’ve been or who you want to be, just who you are now. Through therapy and bathing, I was able to achieve a similar effect (if not, a better one) than I would have through smoking.

Case and point, I am now someone who drinks colorfully, smokes responsibly, dabbles in the arts, and finds lift, grounding, relief, and presence through healthier outside sources. I’m not saying you should stop drinking and smoking altogether — do you! — but there are other ways to express yourself that don’t pollute your body. There are other ways you can achieve the feeling you’re seeking that don’t involve changing anything about what you’re made of but instead, discovering and embracing who you already are. 

In year three of the pandemic, I’ve crawled into comfort in a number of ways, and I have empty beer cans and dusty ash trays to prove it. But the most rewarding things I’ve done have been sober and have lasted way beyond a temporary high. Instead of chasing colors and feelings through booze and bud, I’ve found healthier ways to make my body feel good. I’ve been able to heal, create, and immerse myself into life in ways that honor my mind, body, and spirit. And most importantly, I’ve been able to satisfy my true desires, one intentional choice at a time.

We have everything we need to live our trippiest, grooviest, most colorful lives, and while drinking and smoking can elevate us, they are not the only way. When we know what we want from ourselves and our surroundings, we can create moments of lift, grounding, and adventure without exploiting our bodies. We can replace what we seek from malts and marijuana with art, travel, and mindfulness. So what do you say to giving one of these alternatives a try?