Imparting My Wisdom
This past weekend, I got all four of my wisdom teeth removed. I don’t know if it was the painkillers talking, but last night, when I was passing out on my bed from the awful side effects of the medicine, I thought about how pivotal this moment in my life was.
I have a tendency to make things deeper than they are, but can you blame me? We only live one life and some things we can only do once, like getting our wisdom teeth removed. People are always telling you to romanticize your life, and here I am, just following that advice. Milestones like entering high school, turning 16, getting your driver’s license, being in your first relationship, were all far-out and unimaginable to me a few years ago. Now, I am a junior in high school, I turned 16 in May, and I’ve been in a relationship, but let’s ignore the fact that I’ve yet to get my permit...
Anyway, ever since I was young I remember having this mental bucket-list of “grown-up” things to check off. In contrast to your usual bucket-list with items like “go scuba diving” or “travel to Europe,” this bucket-list includes things like “work a job” and “get your braces off.” Getting my first job would prove that I was grown up, and getting my braces off would not only show that I was no longer a kid, but that I had gone through the sort of physical suffering that everyone else my age had experienced as well.
These weren’t things that I necessarily wanted to do, but rather things that I saw as proof of my coming of age and transition into adulthood. Proof that I had lived life, to an extent. Before getting my wisdom teeth removed, I had never had any teeth pulled, let alone any type of surgery. While part of me was nervous, because I didn’t know what to expect, the other part of me was… excited? I wasn’t thrilled about the anesthetic, but I was ready to add a new experience to my life and cross off another item from my bucket-list.
Life is made up of moments, the ones where you wake up early enough to catch the sunrise and when you can’t stop yourself from laughing at a joke your friend made 10 minutes ago. Life is also made up of the moments that you spend in a dental chair while two oral surgeons yank four wisdom teeth out of your mouth. For most people, something like a wisdom teeth removal surgery is no big deal. They would get their teeth out and never look back. The way I live life, I like to absorb every experience until it no longer feels real. Whether good or bad, I’m constantly replaying events in my head to search for some lesson or clue that I missed. Honestly, it might not be the healthiest way to live life; taking notes like there’s going to be a test tomorrow.
You might argue that I should be living in the present, that I spend too much time in my head. You wouldn’t be wrong, though. Most of the living that I do now is just in my head. When you’re a teenager, it seems like everyday is the same, you’re never going to get out of here. Wherever “here” is for you. Especially since the quarantine and online school started, the days go by and you don’t even blink. The only way I can cope is by revisiting the past and yearning for the future. As Taylor Swift sang in her song August, “Wanting was enough / For me, it was enough to live for the hope of it all.”
I have to practice what I preach, though. Earlier, I said myself that you only live once. While it is okay to spend time in your head because it shows you are comfortable with yourself, you also need to get out of your mind every once in a while. I’m not going to quote the line from Ferris Bueller, because everyone knows it, but he’s right. Life does move pretty fast! Sometimes you just have to let the moments be. Just like your feelings, they come and go. It seems like everyone is always searching for happiness, but so many of us settle for content. The more you “live for the hope of it all,” and crave, the more you’re going to suffer. Buddha says that you will never be truly happy if you spend life avoiding certain feelings and chasing others, and I can’t express how much I admire this mindset.
We spend so much time trying to hold on to feelings that are no longer there, and avoiding others. It’s useless when you look at it. If there’s one thing I hate, it’s wasting time. Yet, I’ve been doing it all along. I’ve been chasing feelings like joy and happiness for so long that I didn’t realize they can’t come back to you if they’re too busy running away from you. How I got to this conclusion from getting my wisdom teeth removed? I’m not entirely sure, but perhaps this was just another one of my moments.