My Experience Being Mixed Race In A Sorority
There has always been an inherent racism that comes with being in a sorority. Greek life has been the target of controversy nationally for distasteful blackface parties, hazing, and turning away queer people or people of color. These problems with sororities and fraternities run deeper though, as they were created to benefit upper-class white college students. Even if a sorority or fraternity does not throw a black face party or publicly promote discriminatory views, there can still be ugly discriminations within the inner workings.
As a biracial (half black, half white), queer young woman, when I went to college, I never initially planned on joining a sorority. I became an active feminist during my freshman year, but I couldn’t help but feel surrounded by a type of feminism that only catered to white, cisgender women. When I ended up hearing about the sorority I would soon pledge from a friend, I knew it sounded like something that I wanted to be a part of. It was my school’s chapter of a service sorority that focused on friendship, community service, mental health, and diversity, which was everything I never associated sororities with. I thought that it would be a safe haven.
I met so many different girls while pledging, many of different backgrounds or ethnicities, but I noticed there still were not any Black or half-Black members when I pledged, which did make it harder to explain my ethnicity to girls who asked about it. I remember the worst response I got when I said I was half-Black and half-white was, “Are you sure?” Now, being fairly light-skinned, I was used to people having an array of guesses for what my race or ethnicity was, but I was usually met with a response of understanding when I told someone what I was. Having someone ask me, “Are you sure?” was just startling, but I brushed it off as a misunderstanding. This microaggression was just the beginning of something bigger though.
As the semesters went on, more Black and mixed race girls joined, which made me feel more comfortable, and there were also many girls who were open allies against racism. The most hateful act of racism I endured was my sophomore year though, when my mental health started declining. I isolated myself, spending most days in my bed. I thought that my sorority would be understanding, but instead an older member of the sorority made me the target of her hurtful comments and anger. This girl was a self-proclaimed feminist and ally, so I thought it may have been my usually extroverted personality that she didn’t like, but I noticed that she treated other girls who acted similarly to me (who were white) just fine. I thought I was just being delusional at first, but as her behavior worsened.
It started to dawn on me that it might have been my race that was the driving factor of her comments. Other girls told me of how she said I was “disgusting,” “dirty,” and “useless,” amongst other comments that seemed racially charged, even when I remembered being nothing but nice to her. When I went to the members of the Executive Board of the sorority (and all the members I spoke with were white) to report the behavior, and talk about my mental health, they let me take a step back from any duties to focus on myself, but brushed off what I had told them about the older member. Then, when I followed up with another report to only one member of the board, they accused me of being un-sisterly. I ended up taking a break from the sorority for the rest of the semester, and just forgetting about the hurtful behavior. I felt abandoned by a sisterhood I thought would treat me fairly. This took a greater toll on my mental state, and I look back, I can’t help but see all the racist behavior that was unpunished.
The recent trajectory of the Black Lives Matter movement ended up opening a dialogue amongst alumni and current members of the sorority, with many Black alumni coming forward about racism they had felt in the sorority, and how reports of racism went unnoticed. I had been so terrified at the time to call a senior member’s behavior, and the brushing off of it by other members, racist. Now, I realize that these experiences cannot go unnoticed. Diversity and mental health were suppose to be values of my sorority, but when I was mentally hurting, feeling the effects of discrimination, and went to the people who were suppose to support me, I was completely gaslighted.
I share this story to help any mixed person, or person of color who wants to join a sorority. It can be an incredible experience. I have met some of my best friends, gained valuable leadership skills, and had amazing college experiences. On the opposite side though, there is a racist history within sororities, even within ones that claim to be different or diverse. I have privilege being light-skinned, biracial, and cisgender, so I know that there is much worse experiences within Greek life for dark-skinned BIPOC, or other identities. Sororities and fraternities were modeled after the racist, homophobic, and classist views of America at the time of their inception, and while some have changed, there is still racism within these institutions that should be dealt with from the inside-out. The cost of taking part in a traditional college institution should not be experiencing traumatic discrimination, and I hope that the nationwide conversations on allyship and racism can inspire reform to enhance the experiences of BIPOC in college as a whole.