Self Care: Not A Hoax
If you’re like me and you hear “self care,” you automatically think of drinking water, getting eight hours of sleep a night, completing your skin care routine, basic activities like that. What if I told you that there’s more to it?
Maybe it was because I never really practiced self care consistently, only when I felt like it. Sometimes I wondered if it was a hoax. Okay, so I drank five bottles of water today, why am I not happy yet?
For weeks in the summer I would stay up until 4 am, not waking up on most days until the afternoon. I barely went outside and spent countless hours staring at screens. When school started back up again, it was hard for me to find the energy to get up before 7 am, focus on work for 6 hours, and then do homework for at least another 6.
I didn’t realize just how much of an impact my habits this summer had on me—being cooped up inside my house with little to no social interaction for months on end—until one day after school.
I am currently in my junior year of high school, and I have heard many upperclassmen tell me that this is supposed to be the hardest year yet. It’s too early to tell if this year will be better or worse than my last few in high school, but I will say that it is different. My schedule is set up in a way that I see each of my classes every other day. Meaning, if I had math class on Monday, then I won’t have that class again until Wednesday. Initially, I was not very pleased with this format, but I grew to like it pretty quickly.
One day after school, I saw that I didn’t have much homework, and I also happened to have a coupon for free coffee at Dunkin’ Donuts, so I thought, why not? When we were in school pre-COVID, I rarely treated myself to drinks after school: it was always straight to a club or an extracurricular. Now that school is fully remote, I was able to find time in my schedule for little things like this. The weather was perfect, it hadn’t gotten too cold yet. I grabbed my wallet, phone, headphones, and of course my mask. My dad offered to drive me, but I insisted on walking and getting some air.
My teachers had been telling us to go on a walk and get some air ever since school started. This was one of the first times I actually took their advice on this. Before, I was either swamped in homework or I simply had no desire to leave my bedroom.
In the next few days, I realized that the simple act of buying myself a coffee and going on a walk was enough for me to start to feel a little bit better. You see, self care is not just about your needs, it’s also about your wants. I could have stayed at home and gotten ahead on my homework, but I really wanted to get some coffee because I thought it would make me happy, and it did. I’ve learned that you need to stop depriving yourself, and instead start listening to your desires and really taking care of your body and mind.
With school being fully remote for me, it was hard to tell when school actually started and ended. It seemed like there was always an assignment on Google Classroom to complete and that I would never catch a break. The thing is, you have to give yourself permission to take breaks. There will always be more work for you to do. We all have that one teacher that gives you the assignments for the next month. I used to be the kind of student that would use this to my advantage and get ahead on work, but not anymore. It is more important now than ever to not be so hard on yourself. I know that if I push myself this year as hard as I did in the past, I would only be sabotaging my mental health. It’s not for a lack of caring either, trust me, I care about my grades more than I probably should. But it’s about me caring for myself, for once.
Starting to put myself first has been one of the most important things I’ve learned this year. I began to do something that I never used to do, I started to set limits to how much I worked. Now, this might not seem revolutionary or anything, but it is a big step in my book. I used to force myself to stay up until 4 or 5am trying to get as much done as I could, but now I try to stop myself around midnight. It’s just not worth it to be losing sleep over some assignments that I could save for another time. I am starting to remind myself that I don’t always have to be ahead, my mental health comes first. I come first.
“Winning” in school is not the same as “winning” in life. For so long I would pride myself on getting a high test score or doing well on a presentation, both really great achievements, but when I failed a test or got some harsh criticism, I would be so hard on myself. Life is so much more than school. For me, winning in life is about finding happiness and peace within yourself. It’s about all the little things you do to take care of the body you inhabit. None of the number or letter grades you get in school will matter if you’re not happy.
