That Wasn’t Very Manic Pixie Dream Girl of Me

You are probably familiar with the different tropes portrayed in films and series - whether that is the ‘cool girl’ trope in How I Met Your Mother or the ‘manic pixie dream girl’ trope in Elizabethtown. You might have noticed that every single trope has one aspect in common. They are all a figment of mens’ imagination. The roles within these tropes cater to men while altering women’s self-perception. The tropes present women as supporting characters in men’s lives, and often depicts them as one dimensional characters. The character is only present because they are helping the man realize something about themselves or their own life. The films make it appear as if you can only be ‘the cool girl’ or ‘the bubbly girl’ without ever mixing the different types. 

You might have been led to believe that you have to be able to hang with the boys, only eat fast food, drink beer, and enjoy the stereotypical masculine activities in order to be accepted by a group of men. This would be the ‘cool girl’ trope. ‘Cool girl’ is attractive, unemotional, fun, and never confrontational. In several ways, she strays away from the typical idea of femininity, while still being absolutely breathtaking and skinny. She soon becomes labeled as ‘one of the boys’ because “she is not like other girls”. On the other hand, we have the more bubbly, ditzy, and quirky girl who is typically more feminine while still enjoying music and films that men might view as surprising because how could she possibly like The Smiths? She exists to transform the man into a better person while she herself is not offered any character development. This would lean more into the ‘manic pixie dream girl’ type. Both types still encourage the idea of ‘not being like other girls’. 

We can often feel a need to fit into one or the other type which can lead us to alter ourselves in order to feel seen and accepted. If we perceive ourselves as only one thing, we are limiting ourselves, meaning that one might alter their behavior to fit perfectly into the box we are given. If we believe that this is what we are, this belief might become strong enough to the point where our behavior is unintentionally matching the trope. Another issue with this is that it can lead us to believe that showing genuine emotion makes us seem incompetent or perhaps weak. It tricks us into viewing ourselves as one dimensional because if you’re the cool girl, you shouldn’t cry over something as simple as a boy - right? Or if you’re the bubbly dream girl, you cannot possibly be angry or intelligent - right? 

The portrayal of these tropes encourages us to suppress our emotions in order to fit the type we are put into. In a sense, this type is chosen for us by others based on our appearance, mood, and interactions with people who don’t truly know us. While you might not see yourself as the ‘cool girl’, others could still have this perception of you. Perhaps this can also lead you to become the ‘cool girl’ because people have an intense need to be liked and understood by other people. If you feel as if people don’t understand you, it might seem easier to mold into being what they already think they know. 

However, with this being said, I would like to encourage you to avoid falling into the trap of altering yourself to fit someone else’s wishes. You should not have to live your life pretending to be something you’re not. It does not matter if others want to categorize you into a single type, because you are so much more than a one dimensional character in someone else’s life. Once you come to understand that it is not important to fit someone else’s expectations of you, life becomes immensely enjoyable. It would be practically impossible to be liked and understood by every single person you interact with - even if you put up a facade. Is it truly worth it to be liked by hundreds of strangers if the people closest to you don’t truly know you or if you don’t even know yourself?