The Power of It Ends With Us
(Contains minor spoilers from It Ends With Us by Colleen Hoover)
“Then why didn’t they just leave?” A common response to the age-old question of why, when stuck in abusive relationships, do people choose to stay? It Ends With Us by Colleen Hoover not only answers this question but makes readers truly comprehend the complexity behind it. This is not another sappy love story, it’s a novel about making mistakes and tough decisions, and learning that love is not always kind. The insight It Ends With Us provides on abusive relationships changed the way I look at love, and this article discusses the main reasons I found this novel to be so influential.
First, it’s important to mention that while It Ends With Us is marketed as a contemporary romance novel, it is so much more than that. The story follows a woman named Lily, who recently moved to Boston in hopes of starting her own business. Here, she meets Ryle, a neurosurgeon who seems to have it all– charm, good looks, and intelligence. Lily opens up her flower shop, love begins to blossom with Ryle, and her life finally starts to fall into place. That is until a twist of fate brings Atlas–Lily’s first love–back into the scene, threatening her picture-perfect life. Yes, this novel contains its fair share of fateful encounters and declarations of love, but it differs from the majority of romance books in one critical way: the biggest love story is between the main character and herself. The love triangle between Lily, Ryle, and Atlas takes a backseat to Lily’s character development and decision-making, demonstrating that loving yourself can be just as powerful and life-changing as loving someone else.
Another important component of It Ends With Us is how it reminds readers that no one is wholly good or bad. People are much more layered and complex than this simple dichotomy, and therefore so are our relationships. Ryle is a perfect example of this.
He is not only arrogant and possessive but charismatic and smart. There are moments where Ryle hurts Lily–physically and verbally. But, Ryle never truly becomes the “villain” in Lily’s eyes. He never spirals into madness, progressively becoming more violent to the point Lily does not recognize who he is anymore. Instead, the occurrences of abuse are few and far between the moments of kind words, joint laughs, and shared smiles. These blurred lines force Lily to untangle her feelings of happiness, attraction, fear, and disgust, all of which are tied to the love she possesses for Ryle. Every reader may not relate to Lily or her experiences. But, we are all familiar with how our emotions can overlap in overwhelming ways, turning choices that should be easy into very tough decisions. This understanding reveals the larger observation that abusive relationships are rarely simple affairs.
Lastly, the novel’s first-person narrative places readers directly in Lily’s mind. Because we see this story through Lily’s perspective, we do not need to piece together information about her relationships like the other characters in the novel do. Instead, we are right there experiencing everything alongside Lily, enabling us to understand her thoughts, actions, and choices. When focusing on a topic like abuse, perspective is everything. It is easy for us to comment on a situation while looking from the outside because we usually do not have any emotional stakes or a complete understanding of what is going on. This story is capable of delivering such striking commentary because readers see Lily’s story from her own point of view.
I decided to pick up It Ends With Us because of the constant attention it received on social media. This book not only lives up to, but exceeds the hype given. This novel carries a heavy, yet pivotal message about abusive relationships. It is a story about navigating love in the grander scheme of life, and choosing to care for yourself first and foremost. It Ends With Us changed the way I view abusive relationships, and I believe it has the power to change other people’s perspectives as it did mine. I truly think everyone should read this novel at least once in their lifetime, and that’s why I will never stop recommending this book to anyone who will listen.