The Senior Slump
Last year I wrote an article for my school’s magazine about college admissions from a junior’s perspective. It was about the bittersweetness of seeing some of your closest friends graduate and step into their adult lives. I wasn’t ready for them to leave, but in a year, that would be me — getting accepted, graduating, and figuring out my way in the “real world.” Fast forward six months and I now realize that the idealization of senior year has been drilled into our heads for a while. The easy classes, senioritis, prom, significant others, and the feeling of finally leaving the bubble you’ve grown so used to over the past four years just can’t be matched, according to the previous seniors, at least. And I’m sure this idea is correct… but only after January, once your applications for college have been submitted.
Nothing really ever prepares you for the looming threat of college admissions. Not only are you stressed about deadlines and dates, but you’re also in school and balancing the extracurriculars you’ve honed since freshman year. Constant questions about your own self-worth arise, like “Am I good enough?,” “Who’s my competition?” and worst of all, “What if I don’t get in anywhere?” Going up against 10 million other people who may have higher GPAs, better extracurriculars, and a grandpa who went to Harvard doesn’t really soothe the anxiety either. At some point, I even found myself evaluating every girl like me in my grade — trying to get a toxic gauge on my own placement among my peers. I cheered when I found they wanted to go into STEM; I felt defeated when I found they were going into English, my projected major.
TikToks would come up on my feed about someone’s statistics. I had to click “Not Interested” to keep myself from watching. Counselling presentations, FERPAs, cursing my dad for not going to Brown University, SAT scores, brag packets, and class rank — I regretted not doing more during the past three years I was in high school. I had no drive to do the things that I loved. I felt like the only thing I should be doing is write essays, but every time I opened the Common App, I had the urge to burst into tears.
I know that not everyone’s application process is the same. I go to one of the most competitive public high schools in California, comparison is inevitable in my environment. But I’m sure the same feelings of inadequacy can be found in seniors all over America. And this phenomenon will probably continue to happen to every senior class in the future: stress, anxiety, and never feeling good enough. We’ve been waiting for senior year ever since entering high school, but when we realize it’s not all unicorns and rainbows, our reality crumbles. How can we get over this “Senior Slump?”
Although I don’t quite know the exact answer (I mean, I haven’t even actually applied to college), the only thing I do know how to do is accept it. Not acceptance of failure, and not acceptance as in “I got in!” but acceptance for your own skills. You did do as much as you could. You worked hard throughout high school. And you deserve to get in. If they don’t choose you, they’re missing out on a fantastic applicant. Then, you go somewhere else and make the most out of the opportunities you get.
I know it’s way easier said than done, but even if you still can’t accept the cliche truth, just know that whatever college you go to in the future doesn’t actually matter. You can achieve the same things going to your safety school, and you can achieve the same things at your dream university. While it may seem like life or death right now (believe me, I know it does), 50 years in the future, you won’t care. The campus might be prettier, the teachers might be top-notch, but you’ll learn the same things. It’s all about your attitude. Take advantage of the opportunities you’re offered and continue to work just as hard as you did in high school. Have fun, have new experiences, and make the most of the college you end up going to.
I spent the last couple of weeks bawling over the thought of being rejected. What would my relatives think? What would my classmates think? Most of all, what would my graduated friends think? If I don’t go to a highly-rated school, they wouldn’t have an opportunity to be as proud of me as I was for them. But once I picked myself up off the floor, and paused the ongoing loop of Adele’s All I Ask playing on my Spotify, I realized I'm a senior. I deserve to have senioritis, I deserve to have fun, I deserve to have that senior year I always dreamed of. I don't deserve that little voice in my head telling me “You’ll never be good enough.” And the people who don’t realize that I did try my best and I did work my hardest aren’t the people I want in my life. The only person that matters in this process is me. And if my mental health is suffering because of the unspoken words of the people around me, then something needs to change. Regardless of my path, regardless of what others think, I know I can still achieve great things — after all I conquered the “Senior Slump” — anything feels possible now.