Films To Cry To

Sometimes, at the end of a stressful, boring, or painfully long day, all we need is a good cry to make us feel better. It has actually been scientifically proven that crying brings us some kind of peace and comfort; shedding tears releases oxytocin and endorphins, which make people feel good and help reduce pain. But sometimes, no matter how much we want to, crying seems impossible. Whether it’s because we feel numb or simply can’t produce tears, we are left in a state of emotional frustration, which can be even worse than simple sadness. 

Fortunately, a few things can help us cry. For many, music is one of the most powerful tools when stuck in this insensitive emotional state. However, for me, nothing compares to the feelings conveyed by a good story, preferably over a 2 or 3 hour time period. Now we all know the classics; The Notebook, Titanic, The Pursuit of Happiness, Forrest Gump, Goodwill Hunting, or even The Fault in Our Stars. I personally liked each of those movies, and most of them prompted me to shed a few tears. However, there are only a few movies that made me ugly-cry to the point that I had to stop and process all my emotions, (most likely by eating a lot of ice cream, staying in bed for a few hours, and crying like a baby). Whether it’s a happy ending or a heart-breaking, tragic - and sometimes traumatic - movie ending, this list explores those few, rare films that can powerfully move us. 

Beautiful Boy (2018)

This film broke me and then broke me again.  

This biographical drama is based on the best-selling pair of memoirs from father and son David and Nic Sheff, respectively titled ‘Beautiful Boy: A Father's Journey Through His Son's Addiction’, and ‘Tweak: Growing Up on Methamphetamines’. The film follows the life of Nic Sheff, a child who progressively experiments with drugs, and struggles with substance abuse. From survival to relapse to recovery, this film is the definition of an emotional rollercoaster. It captures emotions with honesty and simplicity, avoiding any superficial embellishments or exaggeration. The script is beautifully crafted, focusing on essential moments rather than a heavily detailed biography, and consequently seamlessly carries the audience throughout the plot. The performances of both Timothée Chalament and Steve Carell are authentic and organic, allowing for an accurate illustration of the struggles and destructive nature of addiction. Most importantly, this film opens up a taboo topic that has been neglected in the media for decades and that still needs more awareness, especially for the younger generations. Accessible and comprehensible, this film successfully brings this important subject to the eyes of a broad audience. 

Blue Valentine (2010)

I want to sue Derek Cianfrance for inflicting such a traumatic emotional experience upon me. But I also want to thank him for making one of the most beautiful, powerful, and honest films of the last decade. 

For starters, this is one of the most realistic movies ever. Yes, it hurts, but the authenticity of this film is beyond anything I’ve seen. Blue Valentine is a 2010 romantic drama starring Ryan Gosling and Michelle Williams as a contemporary married couple, following the evolution of their relationship over the years. One thing I especially appreciate in a movie is a non-chronological storyline. This film follows the relationship of Dean and Cindy, shifting back and forth in time between the early stages of their relationship, and their break-up many years later. If you’re looking for escapism this is not the movie; this film is about truth and nothing less. It explores the concept of romantic love through a new lens and an innovative storyline and structure, leaving the viewers questioning our socially deeply rooted idealization of love. This is all accentuated by the breathtaking performances of both actors, giving life to an ingeniously crafted dialogue.

Manchester by the Sea (2016)

One of the most depressing films I have ever seen. 

Manchester by the Sea is a 2016 drama film written and directed by Kenneth Lonergan. It tells of the life of a depressed uncle who is asked to take care of his teenage nephew after the boy's father has died. This film truly deserves every bit of the huge critical success and praise it received. Directly and simply tackling the complex themes of grief, loss, and guilt, this film enables viewers to open themselves and confront existential questions, such as how people can move on after haunting or traumatic past experiences. The film features unbelievable, flawless performances by Casey Affleck, Michelle Williams, Kyle Chandler, and Lucas Hedges - just thinking about it gives me goosebumps. It’s a devastating, gut-punching, and heartfelt film, perfectly executed in terms of pacing, cinematography, and overall filmmaking. I’ve rarely seen such a melodic, beautiful yet realistic portrayal of grief in film.

Call Me By Your Name (2017)

This one will stay with you for a long time.

Along with Wong Kar Wai’s well-known movie In Mood For Love, this film offers one of the most accurate portrayals of love, longing, and intimacy between two bodies and two souls. Call Me By Your Name is a coming-of-age movie based on the 2007 novel of the same name by André Aciman. Set in the 1980s in northern Italy, the film follows Elio, a 17-year-old teenager as he develops a romantic relationship with Oliver, a 24-year-old assistant to Elio's father, (who is an archaeology professor). I could talk for hours about the immaculately written screenplay, the breathtaking cinematography, or even the carefully curated soundtrack. Maybe it’s just a personal experience, but this film reminds me of last summer when we were all quarantined and I watched it for the first time, followed by weeks of isolation where the only comfort I could find was by crying to Sufjan Stevens while laying on the floor. Or maybe it was a shared experience. Anyways, like all the movies listed above, Call Me By Your Name offers a raw and honest depiction of life, love, and pain, not to mention André Aciman’s incredible way of understanding and exploring the complexity of the human mind, and translating those thoughts, feelings, and sensations through dialogue. 

Dead Poets Society (1989)

If you don’t cry watching this one, I don’t think you ever will for any of the others. 

Dead Poets Society will change you forever. This teen drama film, written by Tom Schulman, is set in 1959, and tells the story of an English teacher who emboldens his students by using poetry as a path for self-expression and inspiration. I will never stop recommending this film to anyone, especially to high school students. Dead Poets Society is the ultimate remedy for when you’re stuck in a boring, generic routine; doing your homework, hoping to have good grades, to be successful in the future, but truly not having a single idea of why you’re doing it. It sheds light on what is truly important in life, responsibility, and the joy of being alive. Robin Williams's performance in this will forever remain one of the most touching, heart-wrenching, and breathtaking performances I have ever seen. I can guarantee that after watching this movie, you will be left with a newly found sense of hope and inspiration, along with a few tears down your cheeks, (or a literal river for me). 

If Beale Street Could Talk (2018)

If you liked Barry Jenkins’s Moonlight, watch this film. Actually, I take that back. Even if you didn’t, please watch it. 

It’s heartbreaking, eye-opening and, most importantly, it’s real. This film is a poem. If Beale Street Could Talk is an American romantic drama written and directed by Barry Jenkins, based on James Baldwin's 1974 novel of the same name. The film follows the life of a young pregnant woman who, with the help of her family, tries to prove her lover innocent of a crime he didn’t commit. The film depicts the degree to which we are capable of loving, and the strength that love gives to people, especially when they are deprived of a peaceful life in their country. Like the other movies on this list, this film will make you feel all types of emotions; helplessness, hope, sadness, joy, rage, calm, peace. The images are phenomenal - it’s like looking at millions of pieces of art all at once, while listening to one of the most beautiful film scores ever created, (by Nicholas Britell). It's such an important film, made with sheer elegance. And, obviously, I couldn’t stop crying the whole time.