We've All Been There

photo found on Pinterest

Growing up, we want to see ourselves in characters on the big screen. We want to feel heard and understood by anyone and everyone. Here’s a list of films in the past decade that have changed the “coming of age” movie from “boy meets girl” to so much more. 

Coming of age films have evolved throughout the past couple years. As teenagers and young adults, we feel more heard, and the film industry is starting to explore more realistic portrayals of growing up. I wanted to share a few films which I have felt embody this new way of creating.

First, I want to preface by saying that there are way more than I put on this list. As a straight, white, Jewish, female living in the United States, I have chosen the coming of age movies that resonated with me. They might not resonate with everyone. I feel that these films did a good job at illustrating what things are like for us growing up and how young adults feel. Additionally, I’m a sucker for Sixteen Candles, 10 Things I Hate About You, American Pie and Dope and could probably write a separate piece on all of them. These are just a few that are fairly recent and have caught my eye.

Big Time Adolescence (2019)

My love for Pete Davidson aside, I think this film does a great job illustrating what it's like to be a lost teenager. The main character Mo, clings to the only person who ever understood him, Zeke, even though Zeke is older and a bad influence. Mo does not have friends his own age and depends on Zeke for his social life. This relationship between Mo and Zeke is what drew me into the film. The two are truly best friends and enjoy spending time with each other, yet they also use each other. Mo uses Zeke because he thinks Zeke’s cool, has fun friends, and doesn’t take himself too seriously. Meanwhile, Zeke uses Mo for friendship, closeness, and as a way to grow up. He would do anything to protect Mo. Having Mo in his life gives him a sense of purpose. Often, as teenagers we tend to envy and admire people older than us, who seem to be living their lives to the fullest and are without a care in the world. The reality is, the people we look up to aren’t always as shiny and great as we want them to be. Big Time Adolescence explores these relatable themes and uses natural dialogue that viewers can relate to.

Booksmart (2019)

Obviously I had to put this baby on the list. I went with my two best friends from high school to see this movie because I knew it would illustrate my life. Not only does it have a dynamite cast, but the storyline is something we can all relate to. I didn’t go to an ivy league school or push aside my social life for good grades, instead I struggled. When high school ended, I realized that I wasn’t ready for college. I hadn’t had as much fun or enough experiences to prepare me for the next step. Much like the main character Molly, I wanted some adventure. The difference is, I never had it. This movie painted a perfect picture of how I felt ending high school; liking a boy that was too cool for school, excited to spend the summer with my friends, and ending with great grades, and plans to go to an excellent school in the fall. The emotion these characters felt for each other was relatable too. My best friend, (also named Molly), moved across the country, but we always call or text each other about our wins and loses, and we’re each other's hype man. Booksmart is a true coming of age story about growing up and friendship. Thank you Olivia Wilde for directing a film that speaks the truth for so many people my age.

Love, Simon (2018)

First of all, the soundtrack for this film is perfect, thanks to Bleachers and Jack Antonoff. What I liked about this film was that I related to the way of life of the characters. It was obvious that these characters lived in an upper-middle class, mostly white, suburban town, which is how I grew up. We got coffee on the way to school, our houses were all near each other, there was always a Halloween party, theater wasn’t seen as lame, and everybody went to the high school football games. I could imagine these characters in my own life and that allowed me to relate to them. I felt like I could be an extra in the background. A kid in the hallway. An ensemble character in the Cabaret. A cat at the Halloween party. I was part of the story, and that is an important aspect of any good coming of age film.

The Edge of Seventeen (2016)

Holy smokes. I am a fan of this movie. Another lost teenager, but this time it’s not because a boy doesn’t like her, and THAT is very important to me. Nadine is alone. Her mom doesn’t pay attention to her and now her brother is dating her best and only friend… What a nightmare! Of course she’s going to be destructive and angry, that is a NORMAL reaction to your world blowing up. But the only person she could talk to was her teacher. When I was in high school and thought everybody hated me, I didn’t want to talk to my parents either, so I turned to the mom of two of my friends. Much like Nadine talking with someone else’s dad, I talked my problems out with another person’s mom. Anxiety, insecurities, and loneliness are what being in high school is all about for many people, and this movie makes you feel like you’re sitting in your second period history class with no friends all over again.

Moonlight (2016)

Best Picture winner, Moonlight, is a beautifully done movie. By making it into three parts, Jenkins invites the viewer to embark on a journey with the characters. We see them grow up, make mistakes, and evolve. This movie includes everything that could possibly be thrown at you while you’re growing up: drugs, friendship, bullying, drug addiction, single parents, drug dealing, violence, mentorship, sexuality,  love, and so much more. Also, we see how a community can shape a person. Dividing the movie into three parts allows the viewer to witness how Chiron’s surroundings have shaped him into the man he has become. Moonlight is evidence that coming of age films are becoming more truthful, and will hopefully become more diverse. Everyone’s story should be told on the big screen, especially ones about growing up.

Kings of Summer (2013)

This could be one of my favorite films, and it took me by surprise since I thought it was going to be strictly a comedy. Kings of Summer is a story about three boys who are fed up with their lives so they move to the woods, where they can make their own rules. Soon, one of the boys, Joe, becomes too protective of the house and so consumed by this lifestyle that he drives his friends away. Whilst growing up, almost everyone has been in a situation where they wished they could move out of their house and live on their own. These boys did exactly that, but soon realized it wasn’t the paradise they thought it would be. They needed the love and protection that they received from their parents, and from each other. Kings of Summer is a lovely story about independence and understanding, with an incredible cast.

Writing this article, I realised that the best coming of age movies involve drama and emotion. This is because growing up involves realizing what hurts you, what makes you happy, and how to deal with - and hopefully balance - both. These few movies allowed me to learn things about myself, and I hope that the film industry continues moving towards telling truthful stories about growing up.

Honorable Mentions: Ladybird, Mid90s, The To-Do List, Call Me By Your Name, Eighth Grade, Perks of Being A Wallflower, Charlie Bartlett, and countless others.