Deb Fan Explores Cultural Duality in Haunting Release “Closer to Hell”
Photo by Breanna Lynn
After a transformative journey back to her roots, Deb Fan releases her haunting, yet heavenly new single “Closer to Hell.” The eerie alt-r&b track emerges from Fan’s recent pilgrimage to Hong Kong – her first visit in over three years – reconnecting her to her hometown while triggering her yearn to answer heavy philosophical questions rooted in both cultural duality and morality.
Co-produced alongside Max He, the unsettling atmosphere reflects the song’s exploration of moral ambiguity, while the string orchestration and visual interpretation serves as an ode to Fan’s classical background.
In the accompanying music video (directed by Breanna Lynn), viewers are transported to a church where Fan gives a mesmerizing performance surrounded by ballerinas and string instrumentalists. The symbolism throughout is rooted in themes of duality, pointing to the idea that when observing religion throughout history, there is usually a darker side, painting a different perspective on the rainbows and sunshine ideas we associate with heaven.
“In ‘Closer to Hell,’ I reflect on the challenges of abandoning my people-pleaser tendencies and confronting the complexities of human nature,” Fan says. “The chorus, ‘You can never tell, we don’t know who’s closer to hell,’ highlights the murky nature of morality, suggesting that our self-assured judgments and supposed righteousness might not be as clear-cut as we think. As humans, we play the moral game: pointing fingers, blaming each other, hardly taking accountability of our own actions. ‘Closer to Hell’ questions who, if anyone, can truly hold moral superiority?”
[UNPUBLISHED]: Welcome back and thank you for talking to Unpublished again. It's super exciting to have you back since the last time we talked about your debut EP Gemini Moon. I would love to catch up and see how life has been treating you and what have you been up to since the last time we talked.
[DEB]: Life has been good. I've been going through a lot of changes. I remember last time when I released Gemini Moon, I was a little overwhelmed at the interviews and coverage, but in a good way of course. I was still working my nine-to-five. I was still juggling between the dichotomies of this world, but now I'm a full time artist and I'm still trying to find a way to bring myself back into the U.S., so that journey is still on its way.
[UNPUBLISHED]: Your latest single “Closer to Hell” touches a lot around themes of morality and human nature. What is the inspiration behind the single?
[DEB]: This entire project that I'm about to put out is pretty introspective. I'm sure as most people go through their early 20s, they tend to be very existential and they really start questioning their own values and what they actually look for in life. A lot of it is just inspired from introspection and being back in Hong Kong. I had a bunch of conversations with my father and it was interesting because I haven't been back home in a while. I reflect often, but not to that extent, like when I was back home, I actually felt all the changes that I've been through and seeing how my life used to be back in Hong Kong and reliving it. It's definitely a different feeling.
[UNPUBLISHED]: What did the creative process for “Closer to Hell” look like?
[DEB]: It was honestly spontaneous. It's weird because I planned out this project but even though I planned out what this project would mean to me and everything, the song itself came out so randomly. I was literally on Splice looking for loops and I found a drum track and it felt right. This is a drum loop that I would love to use on one of my projects. Then I built the guitar around it. I wrote all of the lyrics, actually, except for one of the sections, but it used to be completely differently arranged and then I brought it to a producer once I felt like it was almost 50% there. We really flushed it out, and came up with a new arrangement. It was seamless and I didn't have to think much about it, which is awesome.
[UNPUBLISHED]: “Closer to Hell” is also accompanied by a music video and it carries a very ethereal energy. I absolutely adore the religious imagery and how you incorporated the ballet dancers to capture the song’s emotion and fluidity. What is the inspiration behind the music video and how was your experience filming it?
[DEB]: I appreciate it. It's definitely super artsy. I love my director, [Breanna Lynn] has a way of capturing and making anything look beautiful. At first when I came to her with this concept, I was a little nervous of it coming off corny or too religious. She was able to capture it beautifully in a Renaissance painting type way. The experience was really fun. I feel like I've never had this big of a crew ever, so it was definitely a new experience at first but because I've worked with her in the past, she got everything down very smoothly, very easy and everyone was so sweet and kind. In terms of the church scenes and how all the symbolism really ties together, I really wanted every single element to really paint this contrast. The song is called “Closer to Hell,” but I wanted the imagery to be very heavenly with an airy spin on it. I thought ballet dancers felt perfect and led to this classical composition.
[UNPUBLISHED]: “Closer to Hell” is a sneak peek off your upcoming sophomore EP Kowloon Demos. How do you feel your music has evolved since the Gemini Moon EP and what can listeners expect from you in this new era of music and storytelling?
[DEB]: I definitely honed in on my songwriting a lot this time around and that was my main focus. I used to be really production-heavy just because that's how I started creating music was through producing, but I realized I wanted to say something and so I wasn't focused on producing so much. I was writing mainly to a bunch of beats that I made and beats I took from like my producer Max He. I really honed in on the songwriting. I really wanted the songwriting to actually fit my voice. For Gemini Moon, I was up there in the range and it was really airy. I know that my voice has a lot more dynamics than that and that I could sing lower notes, like I speak in a lower tone too. I want to show off my range a little bit more, and the songwriting really helps with that. I felt like it was able to show all the genres that I feel like I could do, but so in a way have it be cohesive.
[UNPUBLISHED]: Since we last talked on Gemini Moon, you touched on exploring the duality in your life, seeing things from both perspectives and heartbreak being encapsulated in a very holistic perspective. What themes or emotions does Kowloon Demos address and does it overlap with some of Gemini Moon’s energy?
[DEB]: I think it definitely overlaps in some way. I wouldn't say the themes are directly the same but, instead I feel like Gemini Moon is so much about duality and how do I balance between this culture and that culture? How do I balance between a modern woman and such traditional roots? I think now from how I've evolved, I feel like hopefully my music can attest to that. It's less so of a duality now, and I want listeners to be able to understand that I am more than just the culture that I come from. I'm more than just this duality that I have. I've traveled around a lot. I feel like I really want people to understand that there doesn't have to just be two sides.
[UNPUBLISHED]: Did you have any lessons or breakthroughs while bringing Kowloon Demos to fruition?
[DEB]: I can always learn from something. I think the biggest lesson for me is that it's really tough to do things on your own. I'm not going to lie, I had my hands on this project more. I only have involved three people in this project. The writing I've done all myself, mixed everything myself, but most of it I produced myself first and then I brought it to someone else. Even though it's honestly cathartic to be able to do everything myself, I'm putting all of myself into it and a lot more than my debut. It's really difficult to do it all by yourself, especially when you're having to balance between the artistry and you're focused on what does this song actually make you feel? It's crazy.
[UNPUBLISHED]: I remember from our previous interview, I asked you what was one of the most rewarding parts of the creative process for Gemini Moon and I remember you saying that it was to prove to yourself that you can write an EP without a label backing and doing everything independently, while still balancing that with corporate. How has that transition been to being a full time artist this time around?
[DEB]: The transition was definitely difficult. I felt like when I was working corporate, I needed to be able to do music to keep me sane and feel like I’m not stuck in a matrix. When I transitioned out of that when I quit my job, I was like, wait, I can literally do anything I want and I have all this time on my hands to do what I want. Now it's self-discipline. I don't have something else that's motivating me to make music. It's all just me. I constantly have to remind myself that this is what I want to do and now it's an actual practice that I have to do. Now I feel like as a person too, I'm a lot more sane because I don't have to balance between keeping a face in the corporate world, while all my coworkers knew exactly what I do outside of it, and just seeing these visuals, it made me mad uncomfortable, but now I could just feel like I'm fooling myself, which is amazing. I have a lot more time to myself to do the music. I'm definitely putting a lot more effort into it. I used to get a mixing engineer to do it, but now I wanted to test myself that I could really do this on my own.
[UNPUBLISHED]: What kind of atmosphere or emotional space do you aim to create for your listeners?
[DEB]: I want listeners to feel understood that you can be introspective and as reflective as you want. You can feel as vulnerable however you want. Say whatever you want to say, but not feel like there are people judging you. Not being afraid of being perceived.
[UNPUBLISHED]: How are you feeling in this current era of your career and what does the rest of the year look like for you that you would love to share with Unpublished?
[DEB]: I really want to do more shows. Expect a fire, confusing sophomore EP. I'm probably releasing singles after that that don't belong to any part of a project that are pretty much just fun. I love to include the people I've worked with on projects and without them, I wouldn't be able to bring this project to fruition. Max He is on every single song. Leo Varella is someone I worked with in the past that’s featured on a couple of tracks from Gemini Moon. The mastering engineer Alec Ness helped bring this EP to life. It’s cool to work with people that really believe in you. I feel like it was really hard to come by when I was first doing music.
