It’s All Identity: An Interview with Cassidy King
I had the pleasure of interviewing Cassidy King in late October, shortly after the release of her debut EP, Not So Picture Perfect. One year prior, Cassidy released the song, ‘Professional Smiler’, which acted as her public coming out. The music video features a girl who plays her romantic interest, and throughout the video, we see Cassidy struggle with her identity; from realizing her queerness, to dealing with the demands of femininity. Since coming out, Cassidy’s identity as a queer woman has risen to the forefront of her identity as an artist, and her EP rallies around her experience of being with a girl who was also in a straight relationship.
At first, I was excited to have found a new, queer artist to listen to. However, during our interview, it became clear to me that Cassidy’s appeal as a musician goes far beyond her sexuality; Cassidy is someone with so many important things to say, and so much love and validation to spread through her music. I found myself making up questions on the spot, just to hear what she had to say, because the way she spoke was so overwhelmingly passionate and magnetic. We covered many different aspects of her life, yet every time, we eventually came back to this overarching theme of identity, and the notion that finding comfort in our identity is the most important lesson that anyone can learn. I realized that Cassidy’s music is a place for people to ask the question; “Who am I?” And no matter what the answer, they can learn to love themselves and be okay with who they are. It felt refreshing to talk to someone with such a clear grasp on what space she wants to fill in the world, and as she continues to release music, I hope that everyone will be listening.
[UNPUBLISHED:] Tell us about yourself.
[CASSIDY:] I’m Cassidy King. I grew up in a small town called Chardon, OH. I’m actually still living in Ohio, but I grew up in a super small town. I think there’s less than 6,000 residents? Everybody knows each other, you know, the whole thing. Literally, the towns that you see in movies are pretty much the same. I would describe my music as - I think, now, I have more of a grip on what kind of music I’m making and how to articulate sonically how it is - I would say it’s like, electronic indie-pop? I think that’s the vibe of what I’m going for now. But yeah, I got into music when I was a freshman in college. I actually went to college, and then I ended up moving home so I could work on music. I lived on campus for a year, and then I got really into music, and I was just leaving every single day to go home and just get into any studio I could. So, I moved back home and I started working on a bunch of music.
[UNPUBLISHED:] What is your attitude towards your hometown? How has this influenced your music?
[CASSIDY:] I think it’s definitely given me more of an urge to speak. I wasn’t actually out for a lot of time in my earlier childhood years, especially in high school, because there’s not a lot of openly queer people in my hometown, at all. So, there was a lot of confusion for many years. I had been taught for so long that it was wrong to be queer, and by the time I really discovered who I was, who I wanted to be, it made me want to speak about it more, because more people need to be loud about it. People need to know - I am very proud to say that I am from Chardon, because I was able to make it out. I was able to make it out of that mindset of not being able to be yourself. It’s okay to be different - that’s not necessarily taught or embraced. I think that a lot of change needs to happen and I will always be loud about it. I want to be that person, for all of those kids that went through what I did. There obviously needs to be different ways that people make it out of there, right? My link just happens to be music, and I don’t know who it can speak to, I just know that there are so many people still in that community who need a voice. They need to know that it’s okay to be gay, to be different, to be queer, because we are taught otherwise from such a young age. Like, on your way to school, you see Trump signs, you know what I mean? You’re automatically taught by your surrounding areas; “Oh my God, the way that I’m feeling, the way that I feel like I need to be myself is wrong.” It’s a sad thing that a lot of people go through, but if I didn’t go through that, I don’t think that I would feel as though I have such a powerful voice, and the need to say the things that I feel, in the way that I need to say them, you know? It’s hard being queer and from a small town, and I know there are so many people who struggle with it and who don’t get the chance to say something. Music has been my way to say something for those people, and it’s so important. I will never disown my hometown because I have so much love for it and there are so many people there who need to feel like it’s okay to be themselves. Even in high school, I wish that I had somebody telling me to come out, like; “It’s gonna be okay. These people need to see it. You are loved and it’s okay.” I will always fill that town with love, because that’s what it needs. If I run away from it and I neglect it, that’s the whole problem, there’s not enough love. I feel grateful for the experience because I feel like I have something to fight for and there’s other people that need to get comfortable with the idea. I know speaking on it helps a lot of people, so that’s what I always try to do.
[UNPUBLISHED:] ‘Professional Smiler’ came out about a year ago now. Looking back, what’s different for you now? How have things changed since publicly coming out?
[CASSIDY:] I think I’ve just really learned more about myself. You know, when you spend a lot of time in your life going away from who you are and avoiding it, you don’t really get to know yourself. I think in the last year, I’ve grown to be a lot more confident - confidence in the places that were always insecurities for me, but now, it’s confidence in myself. It’s growth, and learning more about myself, which I spent a lot of time missing when I was a kid and growing up. It’s really cool, I’m learning more about myself, and I still have so much that I want to learn. As a musician, the more I learn about myself, the more I learn who I want to be as an artist, the more things that I can talk about, and there’s just more comfort in the things I want to say. Even in the past year, having these interviews about being queer and where I’m from, were such hards thing for me to talk about for so long because I wasn’t ready. Now, I am ready, and it feels really good. I’m excited that I can speak more about it and see even more growth in who I am. I’m proud, you know, it’s a cool thing.
[UNPUBLISHED:] What is the space that you want to fill in the music industry and in the LGBTQ+ community?
[CASSIDY:] I feel great that I have a space in the community. I feel very loved and grateful to even have this community around me. I think that the space I want to fill… I think feminine masculinity is a huge thing that needs more light shedding on. It’s something that I ran from in the same way as being queer, you know, it’s all identity. Being a musician, a lot of the things I struggled with were related to my physical appearance as a woman. For me, it’s knowing that I am comfortable presenting as a woman, going by she/her pronouns, but also being masculine, and being beautiful within being masculine. Growing up, there were a lot of stars on TV that looked the same and they all dressed similar and I was like; “I could never be comfortable in that.” I just didn’t think it was possible because there was no light on this situation. There was no light on people who were different, and even just queer artists in general. It doesn’t have to do with gender, you know? Being feminine or masculine doesn’t have to do with your gender. They’re two totally different things and gender shouldn’t even- (laughs) I could get into this. I think that you can find your beauty within being masculine as a woman, and you should be comfortable in that. You should feel comfortable and confident in any way that you want to present yourself, you know? I think that’s what I want to reiterate. You should never feel wrong for who you are. I always want to promote that, because I know that’s how I feel and I know it too often seems like there’s one way to present as a woman, and that you have to look a certain way because you’re a woman, but you don’t. Just be you.
[UNPUBLISHED:] What was the moment that you knew you were writing an EP?
[CASSIDY:] I knew that I wanted to make an EP called ‘Not So Picture Perfect’ because I felt that described very well who I am, you know, being perfect, and the whole idea of what people think it is. I was navigating which way I wanted to tell that story, and I ended up telling it through falling in love. The EP actually changed quite a bit; the tracklist changed because of how I was writing, and the stories that I wanted to tell, and what I was going through. I wanted to gravitate the story towards my first experience falling in love, and all of the things that fell within that whole story: self-identity, being comfortable with your sexuality, and falling in love with a woman. As I kept writing, I figured out what songs were falling into this “not so picture perfect” idea of falling in love and what that entails. It’s really just figuring out the beauty of love in any way you feel it. It’s not perfect and that’s the whole point. That’s what I learned and that’s what I got from it, and I hope other people feel that too. There’s so much at one time and there’s a lot of beauty in that within itself, you know, the good and the bad.
[UNPUBLISHED:] What was the easiest song to write for Not So Picture Perfect? And the hardest? What did those processes look like?
[CASSIDY:] Some songs were easy, but hard in different ways. Does that make sense? Songs can be really easy to write but they’re really hard to sing. They come to you really quickly and they’re easy to write these words down, but emotionally, it might be hard to talk about them. The easiest song for me to write was ‘Abigail’; that was really quick and fun because there was a lot of frustration, it was something that I needed to get out, and it was a different type of emotion. It felt like taking my emotion out on something. I remember we had so much fun with everybody who worked on it. I think the hardest song, (I always say this), was definitely ‘Safe Places’. Emotionally, that one was the hardest for me, and the hardest to write, because I had to heal a lot before I was even able to talk about it. It was pretty tough. Another reason it’s tough to talk about is that for a long time, people associated being vulnerable with being weak. If you’re being vulnerable, in a certain way, you’re being taken as soft, and I was like; “I don’t want to be soft.” But there’s a lot of beauty within it and now, we’re on a totally different path and it’s beautiful being able to see so many people speak up on it. I remember it was just a personal thing I went through, and I think sharing a story that’s personal to you, with a lot of other people is not always easy. But I’m so glad it ended up working! We dropped it, and emotionally it was tough, but just to see the response, that was really reassuring and validating, and the fact that so many people related to it and were able to sit with it, it was great.
[UNPUBLISHED:] Your favorite line from the EP?
[CASSIDY:] In ‘Polaroid’, there’s a line that says; “Guess nothing is picture perfect,” and we put that as the outro because it’s the realization song of knowing that nothing is ever picture perfect, and nothing is ever what it seems… “Why do you only love me in safe places” - that’s a sad line! Everybody knows a person that has only loved them when it’s convenient for them. Everybody always has that person that only wants something when they need you and it’s like; “Well, I’ve been here the whole time,” and they’ll only love you in a certain place around certain people. Everybody goes through it, and I think that’s the most relatable and most powerful thing.
[UNPUBLISHED:] What do you want the takeaway from Not So Picture Perfect to be?
[CASSIDY:] The thing that I really want people to walk away with is knowing that, (as well as me obviously), there are so many people out there that feel the way that you do, going through things that are so similar to you. I just want people to know that they’re valid, always. I think everybody wants a sense of validation in how they’re feeling. What I really want people to get from this project is having their feelings validated, and having loose ends in their head tied up within the music. Being able to validate their feelings for them, through music, is so beautiful. I think that’s a really, really big thing that I want people to walk away with: knowing that other people feel this way. Just knowing that somebody else feels the same way is super reassuring and validating. I know I always want validation too - you know, when I’m going through something and my feelings get hurt, I’ll call my best friend and be like; “Is it okay that I feel this way? Can you relate? Is this okay?” Everybody does it. My friends do the same thing and I’m like, “Yes, your feelings are valid.” I think people need to know that and need to hear that, so I always want my music to be able to create that sense of validation for people. Even if somebody always says; “You don’t need validation in the way that you’re feeling,” you always want it. You don’t necessarily need it, but everybody wants it. I hope that Not So Picture Perfect can do that for people.
[UNPUBLISHED:] What’s next for you?
[CASSIDY:] Hopefully, after COVID, I really want to go on tour. That’s something I really want to do, but only when it’s safe for everybody. I don’t ever want anyone to be in harm’s way. I’m also working on another project right now. It’s about “after the fact” - after you go through a certain relationship, all of those things that come after, the whole, “hurt people hurt people.” That’s what that one is about; after the fact of getting out of a love that meant a lot to you. Like I said, the EP completely changed, but as of right now, that’s what I’m going for and that’s the message. The project is going to drop in 2021, so we’re working on the things we need to do to get that out. And you know, I want to keep growing and keep learning more about myself.
