A different kind of soulmate

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Few things are as pure as the exaggerated texts you send to your best friend. Yes, hyperbole is the internet’s official language, but a love language is created when your best friend matches or reaches another echelon of exaggeration to share your excitement. 

“You are my literal sister” one text reads to my best friend. I also refer to her as “BINCH!”, my queen and my wife. I can see how this supposed family tree can be confusing, but it somehow makes sense to the both of us. 

A harmony found in friendship is reminiscent of a romantic love, but it’s truly something unique. If love is to know and to be known, to understand and be understood, friendship is the best example of this. 

It’s shocking to think that we haven’t known each other our entire lives, even though we sometimes joke that we lived variations of the same life. I met Elizabeth (the bitch in question!) in college, but we didn’t even become BFFs until my senior year. 

My hometown became my college town. So, at my current age of 22 (the oldest anyone has ever been), I didn’t think I could meet anyone else that would become a huge part of my life. It’s some sort of naive nihilism, to believe that you feel everything you’re ever going to feel and meet everyone you’re ever going to meet by age 18.

Elizabeth proved me wrong! I’ve found that one of the most exciting things life brings us is the ability to get to know and become a part of someone else's world. 

When I am feeling at my rock bottom (this takes form in me talking about, for the millionth time, this one guy I dated for a brief period of time), my best friend listens. She listens as if it’s the first time and not the trillionth. 

We talk about everything else, too: the state of the world, our families, music, what Adrianne Lenker must be like at parties, etc. I always feel heard and affirmed. Friendship seems to be, for me, to be fully known, understood and constantly affirmed. 

Most importantly, my best friend dreams with me. We dream, ideate and sometimes even pull-through. Together, we imagine who we will become and what we can achieve in cities far away. Through this wide-eyed wondering, we’ve found ourselves more confident in going for it, for anything. 

For example, in my day-to-day life, I stand up straighter and I am more open to the world and others around me. This is huge! Because for me, it is too easy to close myself off and sit in my comfortable box of all I’ve ever known. 

At work, I’ve become more assertive when sticking up for myself through this newfound confidence. Daily battles are simply easier when someone’s in your corner, but with a friend like this, I am able to become the person I want to be. 

Friendships can not only be catalysts for growth, but also the blueprint for romantic love. A comic by Alanna Okun and Aude White expresses it best, “I partly learned how to love [my partner] through loving [my best friend]; I partly learned how to be loved by him through being loved by her.” As new dimensions are created when people join our lives, we better understand ourselves and what we want from this world, other friends, and significant others.

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To all this, Elizabeth says: “It’s easier to love yourself and figure out the way in which you want to be loved when you’ve got a best friend that constantly reminds you of your worth. She’s there to support me, encourage me, and sometimes roast me; she knows me through and through. There’s a certain sense of peace when you know that no matter what, you’ll have someone in your corner. 

Self discovery isn’t just a one way street - it’s actually a long, winding road that ends up merging with someone else’s road sometimes. Rrita and I are currently driving down Santa Monica Boulevard in a red convertible with the top down, scarves in our hair. Yes, we’re riding into the sunset together, but no, not in a romantic way.” 

 

“THAT IS IT i am crying,” I replied. 

“Ugh thank u queen!!! It’s not too cheesy????” she asks. 

“No greater words have been written!!!!”


 Sources (in order of appearance):

Nahman, Haley, et al. “Internet Hyperbole Is Literally Out of Control.” Man Repeller, 17 Mar. 2017, www.manrepeller.com/2017/03/internet-hyperbole.html.

Adrianne Lenker, 5 Oct. 2018, adriannelenker.bandcamp.com/.

“Hit It Sessions.” Instagram, www.instagram.com/hititsessions/.

Okun, Alanna, and Aude White. “Best Friends, a Love Story.” Vox, Vox, 17 June 2020, www.vox.com/the-highlight/2020/6/17/21287889/best-friends-dating-love-story-friendship-comic.

Rrita Hashanibatch 1