Falling in Love in Fall
I have dated a wide variety of men. Rarely do they have anything in common, but I’ve come to find one thing has rung true every time: I fall in love during the fall.
Is there a science to my own personal “cuffing season”? Is there something in the rustling leaves and chilly mornings that makes it easier to fall in love?
Could it be the fall apparel? Girls, guys and non-bines look the absolute best in a sweater and boots and… bare me strength… corduroys. (Not flannels, though. I won’t elaborate but flannels are frat-adjacent).
Currently, my deepest fantasy is going to the park with my crush, maybe biking and then lounging on a blanket. Music is playing. There’s a breeze and sunshine and everything is so beautiful. We talk because I love to talk until we’re not talking anymore (WE’RE KISSING).
One friend plainly stated that I’m probably just in love with the season. This may as well be true, but as I nestle into almost two years of being “single” (I love a fling), I find myself wanting to go on a date more than ever right now.
Elle Woods’ “bible”, Cosmopolitan, explains that the “cuffing season” is between the months of October to March. For me, the lovin’ starts in September.
But there is a supreme lack of scientific theory or evidence backing up my claims. So, I turn to find my answer in the poetry or writings of others in love.
Although I swear that I have read more books since high school, one quote from The Great Gatsby always comes to mind as the days start to cool down, “Life starts all over again when it gets crisp in the fall.”
The change of the season always seems abrupt, but I’m grateful for it. Fall brings a rebirth, thus allowing you to be more open to letting someone in. Delia Owens in Where the Crawdads Sing says that “Autumn leaves don’t fall, they fly.” The summer’s end is nature’s beautiful grand finale and proof that once one door closes, another opens. Plus, the less sweaty weather allows for more cuddling.
Of course, we love a Hot Girl Summer! My journal holds a record of eight crushes in one summer (2019). But the slowing down of the seasons brings the want to find that serious significant other. At this point, I am practically begging to get married!
“We fell in love in October / That's why I love fall” coos girl in red. The Neighbourhood is literally famous for its ode to “Sweater Weather”. Soccer Mommy tells the tale of getting skinned knees from falling for someone “face down in the autumn street”. And I’m pretty sure Hozier just appeared one day in a pile of leaves, fully grown and in a sweater.
My favorite fall love song, though, has to be “Autumn Sweater” by Yo La Tengo. Everything about this track is romantic. Seductive vocals, groovy polyrhythms and finally, the chorus:
“We could slip away / wouldn’t that be better / me with nothing to say / and you in your autumn sweater”
Listeners seem split about the meaning behind the song, stating that it could be about wanting to stay in with a lover as it gets colder, or the beginning of a breakup. I prefer the former, but nevertheless, the track is a necessary device for daydreaming.
Obviously, fall brings beautiful weather and even prettier love songs. What else could foster a better environment for new love?
If you’re in school, autumn also brings a new semester. Thus, new people to crush on. That may have been robbed due to the pandemic, but there’s no shame in finding a Zoom crush or becoming a frequent dating app user (Tinder is for summer, Bumble is for fall, Hinge is for desperate times… I don’t think I need to elaborate on this one).
Take fall as an excuse to shoot your shot. Maybe even make a playlist of your favorite fall-inspired songs to really impress your lover. Here’s mine, because I’m trying to impress you:
Yes, winter is coming and it can be depressing. So, why not share the shorter days with someone you love?
Clearly, that’s easier said than done, but allowing yourself to be more open to new love or new friendship is what it’s all about. If you’re not ready to open a door, try opening a window.
Although the pandemic has made it impossible for the perfect meet-cute, hotties are still out there! Try one of the aforementioned dating apps, sliding into DMs, or FaceTime dates.
Autumn is a time of rebirth, not decay. Try opening up and making your own rules, you’ll never know who you may meet.
Sources (in order of appearance):
Andrews, Taylor, and Julia Pugachevsky. “What the Hell Is Cuffing Season?” Cosmopolitan, Cosmopolitan, 18 June 2019, www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/a24112382/cuffing-season/.
Fitzgerald, F. Scott The Great Gatsby. Scribner, 1925.
Owens, Delia. Where the Crawdads Sing. G.P. Putnam's Sons, 2019.
Megan Thee Stallion. “Megan Thee Stallion - Hot Girl Summer ft. Nicki Minaj & Ty Dolla $ign [Official Video].” YouTube, 3 Sept. 2019, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FbcLcSY2au4&ab_channel=MeganTheeStallion
girl in red. “girl in red - we fell in love in october.” YouTube, 21 Nov. 2018, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iggmiF7DNoM&ab_channel=girlinred
The Neighbourhood. “The Neighbourhood - Sweater Weather (Official Video).” YouTube, 5 Mar. 2013, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GCdwKhTtNNw&ab_channel=TheNeighbourhoodVEVO
soccer mommy. “skinned knees.” Bandcamp, https://sopharela.bandcamp.com/track/skinned-knees
Yo La Tengo. “Yo La Tengo - Autumn Sweater.” YouTube, 13 Mar. 2015, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vtOfYeJFq0k