21 Things I Learned in 2021

It’s common practice for people to adopt one or two New Year’s resolutions in hopes to improve their life or general well-being in the upcoming year. But, being the overly ambitious person I am, it’s always been my tradition to create an entire list full of goals. I began this ritual my sophomore year of high school, back when the list was titled “18 Goals for 2018”, and I’ve kept up with the practice ever since. 

This year, in my lofty quest to complete “21 Goals for 2021”, I fell short. I’ve never successfully completed all my goals, but in 2021 I made the least amount of progress on my list since the tradition’s inception. For me, 2021 was a year full of let downs and shortcomings, but it was also a year full of learning experiences. Because of this, I’m reflecting on my past year not in terms of my “21 Goals for 2021” but instead the “21 Things I Learned in 2021”:

Don’t let the goal of perfection keep you from improvement. 

2021 was the year I finally worked up the courage to share my writing with others. I’ve always kept my writing between the pages of my notebooks or filed away on my computer because I thought it wasn’t good enough to share, not yet. This summer I began sharing my work with my family members and submitting it for publication online. Although I’ve encountered both success and failure in this process, I’ve grown much stronger as a writer, gained informative feedback on my work, and found all kinds of inspiration for new projects. 

Sometimes ignorance is bliss. 

Constantly refreshing social media every time you can’t attend an event only makes you feel worse. Instead, make a conscious effort to avoid all social media in these instances. Although I’m still aware of events I miss, it’s much better to have them remain as vague concepts in my mind instead of the constant torture of being able to see, but not experience them.

Stop trying to predict the future. 

I’ve always tried to micro analyze all my decisions, hoping this would help optimize my odds for success. In 2021 I spent way too much time waiting around for the “right” moment to do things, only to have my plans fall apart somewhere along the line. From this, I surmised that no amount of plotting or planning will allow me to know exactly how things will play out, and it’s better to act as soon as I’ve made my mind up about something. Since I’ve adopted this mindset, I’ve managed to save myself lots of time and energy. 

Sometimes you just need to wallow in it. 

Every so often, everyone needs a “wallow day”, as I call them. I spend these days curled up in bed, and let myself feel all the sadness, fear, doubt, and whatever other emotions are lurking within me. By taking this time to acknowledge and empty myself of my negative emotions, I’ve found that I’m much more prepared to regroup the next day and set off on a new course of action.

Just because progress isn’t linear, doesn't mean it's not progress.

Having a bad day does not set you back to square one, even though it might momentarily feel that way. Look at these days in the context of the big picture, not by themselves. One day does not discount all the progress you’ve made in the past week, or the past month. Relax, take a deep breath, and try again tomorrow.

Other people can’t read your mind. 

By this I mean: you cannot expect people to automatically know exactly how you feel. It’s not fair to hope friends and family will piece together your emotions by noticing small changes in your words or actions. Clearly vocalizing my emotions has helped me cut down on drama, disappointment, and confusion in my life, and made it easier for my friends and family to support me accordingly. 

Pick up the FaceTime call. 

For the first few months of 2021 I rarely picked up the phone when my friends called. The idea of summoning the energy to smile and crack jokes at a time where I constantly felt drained seemed much too daunting. However, when I started hitting the  “accept” button, I realized how much I missed seeing and hearing my friends. Now, even if I don’t have the energy to say much on the call or can only talk for a short while, I always pick up when I can. These minutes are usually huge mood boosters for me, and are often the highlights of my day.  

Colored eyeliner is a power move.

I started using a white eyeliner pencil on my waterline this summer to change up my look, and since then I’ve evolved to more colorful options. For everyone like me who isn’t necessarily great at makeup, but looking for something to spice up their go-to look, this is the number one tip I have to offer. It’s easy, inexpensive, and I always get lots of compliments! 

Failure is not always bad. 

I grew up thinking the word “failure” was synonymous with phrases like “not good enough” and “not trying hard enough.” In 2021 I became very acquainted with failure, and through this I learned that failure is not always a bad thing. Sure, it never feels good to fail, but I discovered failure can also be a very useful tool. Failure provides necessary feedback, highlights areas where I need to improve, and ultimately helps guide me along the path to success.

The library is amazing.

As someone who considers reading one of the greatest pastimes in life, the fact that I’m making this discovery in 2021 might seem strange. For some reason, I always imagined public libraries to be archaic entities filled with nothing other than encyclopedias and yellowing textbooks. When I visited the library on a whim this past summer, my preconceptions were blown away; I left that day with 4 well-known titles by some of my favorite authors. Since then, the library has helped me work through my endless “to be read” list, and discover new favorite books and authors. 

Meet with your professors.

College students: don’t be afraid to reach out to your professors! Spending time with professors outside of class helps you get a better idea of what they are really looking for from their students. Setting up one-on-one meetings is a great way to receive personalized feedback on your work, and has helped me grow tremendously as a student. I’ve also discovered that getting to know your professors on a deeper level makes the entire experience of their class so much more meaningful.

Other people don’t care about you as much as you think they do. 

Ok, this one sounds a little harsh, but what I mean by this is: no one pays closer attention to your life than you do. Even though I take extra notice of the pimple on my face, or the joke I told that no one laughed at, no one else hyper focuses on these things. I am only excessively aware of my life because it is mine, and once I realized this I started to relax more in social situations.

Part your hair in the middle.

After dropping my bangs in first grade, I sported a side part until this past summer. Although the middle part might not be for everyone, I’ve discovered this hairstyle fits my face best.

…And keep it cut shorter. 

This fall I decided to get my hair cut the shortest it’s been since the third grade. My immediate reaction: “Why in the world did I not do this sooner?” 

Annotating books is fun. 

By “annotating” I don’t mean marking up The Great Gatsby for English class. I’m talking about sitting down with colored sticky tabs, a favorite book, and re-reading while marking up favorite quotes, interactions, and scenes. For me, this is not only a very therapeutic exercise but a good way to escape a reading slump. Also, it’s great to be able to pluck a favorite book off the shelf and flip to the parts I cherish the most.

Everything doesn’t need an explanation. 

Whether it’s skipping out on dinner to catch up on a favorite TV show, or ending a phone call early because you want some extra sleep, it’s not necessary to concoct an elaborate story explaining every one of your decisions. It really is as simple as saying “No, sorry, I can’t come tonight,” or “Sorry, I’ve got to go now.” I’ve learned that people, especially your friends, rarely ask for an explanation greater than the one you give them, so it’s best to save the time and energy and to keep things simple.

Breaking a bone sucks. 

This one’s pretty self-explanatory. I broke my first bone this year– pinky finger!– and it was horrible. 

Watching TV while working out is better than listening to music. 

When I first started watching TV during my workout sessions, I designated one specific show to be my “workout show”, meaning I could only watch it while I exercised. As someone who prefers working out first thing in the morning, I hoped this would be a good motivator to pull me out of bed. Not only has this technique made me more motivated to get up in the mornings, but I’ve found my workouts feel much quicker if I watch TV during them. 

RX Vanilla Almond Butter is quite possibly the best food ever created. 

This is my “if you could only eat one food for the rest of your life” food, my “if you were stranded on an island and could only bring one thing, what would it be?” food. I eat this as a dip for sliced apples, on top of oatmeal, yogurt, or pancakes, and smother it on bread. I’ve quite literally eaten this almond butter for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. If you’re looking for something healthy to curb your sweet tooth, try this out!

If you have to convince yourself that someone cares about you, they don’t.

This is something I’ve struggled with since my high school years. I’ve always tried to give people the benefit of the doubt, hanging onto friendships by trying to pull out silver linings and fabricate excuses for why I wasn’t receiving the energy I gave. This year I stopped nurturing my one-sided relationships. Although it was initially difficult, especially as this resulted in losing contact with some people, I am much more at peace dedicating my energy to more worthwhile things and knowing that those who are in my life truly want to be there. 

Make sure to check your junk email every once in a while.

Yes, sometimes there are important emails hiding in there, and yes, I learned this the hard way.

This essay proves that a “successful year” can be measured in quantities other than accomplishments. Many of the “21 Things I Learned in 2021” are not takeaways from my wins, but from my numerous failures throughout the year. Although I’m still working on applying many of these lessons in my everyday life, I’m happy to look back on 2021 and see the positive things I gained from such a tough year.