The Secret Weapon
Photo by Rachel Kloepfer
Every Saturday night, the same regimens are repeated. Clothes are, a little drunkenly, thrown around the dorm room. Silk bodysuits and lingerie and low-cut jeans. We drink from bottles of vodka that, of course, were gifted to us. When you’re a young, attractive girl, why pay for your Titos when a credit card in the hands of some desperate man is always available? We spend hours painting our face. Precise brush strokes, an artificial blush - of course we need them to think the flattery is having some kind of authentic effect.
When I go out to parties, I am cognizant of how my behavior, and my looks, may determine much of my night’s success. Laugh at the Uber driver’s jokes, and he may open the door for you. Bat your eyes strategically at a bouncer, and you’ll never truly have to be concerned about getting in. Playfully touch the shoulder of the first man you make eye contact with, and you may walk home with a full wallet (but drunk anyways).
When you begin to notice the perks to being beautiful, being desired - it is difficult to not play into them. I am well-aware that heeled shoes and dark eyes might serve as my ticket to treatment I would not received otherwise. I am conscious of the system I am playing into.
The mirage of female privilege based on beauty sure garners a level of attractiveness. Of course, from the outside looking in, it seems all but unfair that a pretty face can get you into clubs that you aren’t old enough for, into paid-for drinks and dinners, into unsolicited compliments and doors-held-open without request. The idea, the image, of pretty privilege makes it seem like beautiful women have it easy. Red lips, and long legs, are a form of currency, of power.
Attractiveness, as determined by man, is one of the keys to success in our society. It is often viewed as “the easy way in” - as beautiful women climb to the top in their field, secure elite jobs, or receive special treatment in any way by the patriarchy. It is not rare for these successes to be looked down upon, or devalued because of the assumed privilege that comes with looking a certain way
The concept of feminine pretty privilege seems like sunshine and roses from an exterior point of view - especially in the eyes of man, who can never understand the position that so many young women find themselves in at the hands of this construct. Pretty privilege, and the societal concept of aiding and pleasing attractive women, at its core, creates this sort of seduction-for-survival mantra. It isn’t a deep ideology. In fact, it is incredibly shallow. It depicts in such a true form how even certain “privileges” that certain women can afford is rooted in the overarching privileges of masculinity. Looking beautiful, and getting what you want because of it, is not truly privilege. It is the manifestation of men thinking that women owe them something because of their kindnesses towards them.
When we look at this idea on the surface, it seems unfair. Beautiful women having it easy, getting what they want just because they fit a standard that they did not even themselves set. Free drinks, kind gestures, politeness, flattery, offerings. You’d think that this demonstrates a level level of power that women have, when truly it is a reflection of how much power the patriarchy thinks it has over the women it deems desirable. This kind of power that women supposedly hold, isn’t power at all.