Advice For The New Age: Twenty Things I Learned in Twenty Years
Photographer: Olivia Bee
1) You have no obligation to stay friends with people who require your therapy in exchange for your mental health declining.
2) THERE IS MORE TO YOUR LIFE THEN A ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP. REPEAT.
3) Being long-time friends with someone does not mean they are good friends. The length of time you have been friends with someone does not determine anything about the quality of friendship. It is simply the amount of time you have known them. If you have a good friendship with someone that has lasted many months or years, that is simply a bonus.
4) There is far too much profit for big companies to be made out of you disliking yourself. Don’t give them the satisfaction.
5) Move away from your hometown. You can always move back after a year, but getting that experience of moving away is so important for growth. There is no rule saying you have stay but give yourself time to see how you approach life in a brand-new environment.
6) Once you learn to be on your own comfortably, you will begin to realise the toxicity of bad company and will appreciate how precious time is. You will become more particular about who you choose to spend your time with. Being able to be alone with yourself is an important thing. Don’t underestimate it.
7) Self-care is a necessity.
8) Shame is a useless emotion. Never be ashamed of things if they don’t hurt anyone else. The amount of time I spent caring about what other people think about me is EXHAUSTING. Like what you like, wear what you want, it will prove to make you so much happier. Don’t let other people’s opinions live in your head rent free.
9) Just because you have the emotional ability to understand someone else’s point of view doesn’t mean you deserve their anger, disrespect or mistreatment.
10) FORGET EVERYTHING ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS THAT TEEN MOVIES HAVE TAUGHT YOU. IT IS COMPLETELY NORMAL TO NOT HAVE BEEN ROMANTICALLY INVESTED IN SOMEONE BEFORE THE AGE OF TWENTY.
11) You have no obligation to explain how you choose to live your life to anyone. You do not have to explain yourself to anyone. The beauty of being your own person, is that you can make your own choices and you NEVER have to explain why you do things to anyone (to a degree, don’t end up in court).
12) Never stop being a good person because of bad people.
13) No matter how hard you try, you are going to be the villain in someone’s story. No matter how you act or how lovely you are, you will inevitably be the ‘bad guy’ in someone’s story. You don’t have to like it or necessarily change yourself, but you must acknowledge it. Once you come to terms with this fact, it will grant you a type of acceptance that even I couldn’t quite explain.
14) Recognise the power of kindness and how essential it is for the world.
15) If someone says the phrases “I am the only one who understands” or “I am the only one who cares about you.” Run. It’s false information used to manipulate you. Don’t let them make you believe you cannot be loved by your friends or family.
16) Annoyingly, the things that you are scared to do usually lead to the best experiences and are the memories you adore the most. Even if the outcome isn’t what you expected, it adds to your experience and will be a funny story you tell…one day.
17) There is nothing wrong with sex. Romantic sex. Casual sex. Loving sex. Hating it. One-night stands or waiting for your wedding night. The only time it is wrong is when it isn’t consensual.
18) Ignore people who think they know you, better than you know yourself.
19) Being a bystander isn’t enough. If you aren’t helping someone in need, your silence means you stand with the oppressor. You cannot stay neutral when it comes to equality. You are either an advocate or you are just as bad as the oppressors are.
20) This is a quote that I now live by. It encompasses everything I’m trying to convey in all my work. “If you are happy doing what you’re doing then no one can tell you aren’t successful.” – Harry Styles
BONUS: Sign some petitions! I will be posting a petition that I encourage everyone to sign in each article. This month: “Petition to Free to Muslims in Chinese Concentration Camps”
“Muslims in the Xinjiang region of China are being forced into government mandated concentration camps in an attempt to "re-educate" them. According to former prisoners, Muslims are forced to eat pork, drink alcohol, and denounce themselves as Muslims. A recent estimate postulates that there are over a million people in these camps, some of them being foreign nationals.
This has been going on since the spring of 2017, with a US commission calling it “the largest mass incarceration of a minority population in the world today." This is an attempt at a "cultural cleansing" and it is morally and ethically wrong.”
https://www.change.org/p/united-nations-petition-to-free-to-muslims-in-chinese-concentration-camps