Celebrities Sharing Their Grief Online is Important Now More Than Ever
In recent months multiple celebrities have shared intimate stories of their grief and loss to the world. Most prominently, Meghan Markle just published her opinion piece, ‘The Losses We Share’ with the New York Times. Here she candidly discusses the sorrow and pain she experienced at the beginning of the year, following her miscarriage. This article ran many parallels with Chrissy Teigen’s story, which also took to the headlines in October. Teigen also had a miscarriage and she chose to share the devastating experience to her followers as she was going through it, on both Instagram and Twitter. These public declarations of grief have led to mixed feelings and reactions. On the most part both Markle and Teigen have received comments of support and compassion. However, there has also been immense hate and scorn to both parties. It has been argued that some things are best kept private, leading to the question of whether celebrities ‘share too much’?
It is undeniable that lives are increasingly being lived more and more online. The presence of the internet, and indeed social media, has permeated our culture and the way we function. Any moment can be shared at the touch of a button, with many influencers and celebrities capitalising on the public’s need for new and exciting content of their lavish lives. From glossy selfies and endless travel pictures to images of aesthetic brunches, social media is a platform that showcases sparkly photoshopped worlds. So surely it is time for such illusions to be broken? As we come to learn more about the harmful effects of ‘perfect’ social media lives and ‘FOMO’ syndrome (fear of missing out) on our mental health, it seems more important than ever that celebrities and influencers break this mould. Whether we ourselves would choose to share such personal information is beside the point. We may never fully understand the desire to share the intimate, but it can’t be denied that women like Markle and Tiegen speaking out on such a topic can only have a powerful effect. One that would not be the same without their platforms as celebrities.
In the instance of Markle’s article, a majority of criticism has surrounded the idea that her piece was a ‘publicity stunt’. Markle has been a decisive figure in the public eye following her and Prince Harry’s break away from the Royal Family, and it has been suggested her article shows desperation to receive some good press. I personally believe it only serves as a reminder of exactly why she chose to break away in the first place. The emotionally-charged essay deliberately moves away from the Crown’s institution of distance and formality. She proclaims herself as a woman that refuses to be part of this facade.
Yet, many will continue to see this move as ‘attention-seeking’. For example, Marco Giannangeli, a journalist for the Sunday Express, harshly asked in a tweet why Markle decided to ‘write a 1,000 word op-ed about herself’, contending that her piece does nothing to add to the resources for those already going through the tragedy. Yes, the piece is about her, but I have to say that such a criticism completely fails to understand the effect that celebrities such as Meghan Markle can have on people’s lives. The reality being that Markle’s article goes so much further than simply being about herself. It is an essay that articulates how millions of others have also felt. In sharing her story she is enabling support to those who have gone through the same experience. Indeed, following Markle’s essay I have never seen my Twitter feed so full of women talking about their own experiences with miscarriages, and engaging in discussion with others.
Most importantly, her article expands further than just this topic and implores for emotional sensitivity on a more general scale. One poignant line of her essay proposes that we ask our friends and family ‘are you okay?’. In the midst of the global pandemic, this question seems more pertinent than ever, with millions of people struggling with mental health issues as a result. Mental health is another topic that many other celebrities have also been brave enough to speak out on. Stars such as Selena Gomez, Lili Reinhart, and Katy Perry have all openly discussed their personal experiences, ranging from depression to anxiety. In this way, Markle’s widening of the subject to span all matter of mental challenges, allows her article to resonate universally.
Although, at the heart of Markle’s suggested question ‘are you okay’, is the idea that we can never really know how someone is feeling. She demonstrates that it is so easy to get wrapped up in other people’s ‘perfect lives’ without ever knowing what’s beneath the surface. I recoil in imagining the number of interviews Markle may have had following her loss, where she put on a brave face and hid her pain. However, her article allows us to see beneath that front. Just as Tiegen’s Instagram photo allowed a window into the pain she felt. Such moments allow us at home to remember life’s realities, and that in fact, we are all human.
When it comes to celebrities and influencers with immense platforms, it can only be a force for good when they discuss difficult topics from a personal perspective. In the first sense, it may be lucrative for them to be able to let down their guard and truly be themselves. But most importantly these personal stories that are shared are so unbelievably valuable to their fans and the public. In all honesty, grief, and loss of any kind should not have to be private. In fact, it can often be more valuable to share our pains than keep them bottled up. I am not nearly suggesting we might all be as open on the internet as these women, but I can only hope that these conversations being opened up will allow more and more people to speak out, seek help and learn that they are not alone.