Ber Defines What It Means to Be “Halfway” Through Heartbreak
Photo by Lauren Kim
Sometimes you realize it’s time to just let go. A lot of people have heard the phrase that “breakups aren’t linear.” There are a lot of emotions and growth that take place between the initial cut off and the final realization of being “over it” or completely healed. However, what do you call that weird time in between, where you don’t feel as sad but also don’t feel like it is entirely over? Well, in singer-songwriter Ber’s newest EP Halfway, she seeks to define this part of heartbreak, spanning across six different songs.
Ber says in regards to the title track that “There's a lot of breakup songs and there's a lot of ‘I love you’ songs out in the world. But, I didn't know a ton of songs about the place that I was in which I ended up deeming as my ‘halfway.’”
Out on February 17th, Halfway exemplifies Ber’s ability to convey worlds of emotion through her music through resonating, witty lyrics and indie-pop charm. Her music creates a safe space to tackle those uncomfortable feelings of heartbreak, while also motivating you to get up and just dance it off. In a conversation with Unpublished, Ber dove deep into Halfway and also discussed her upcoming headline tour and current inspirations.
[UNPUBLISHED]: You just released your latest single, “Your Internet Sucks.” You touch on some personal experiences in the song but still maintain an upbeat attitude throughout. Can you tell us about your creative process in making this song?
[BER]: I loved writing this song. It's a song I never thought I would write in a million years because it got me out of trying to deny that I had any of those angry feelings. I was definitely in denial for a long time. And whenever someone would be like, "Hey, have you seen so and so? How are they doing?" I'm like, "oh, no, I haven't. But, I wish them the best." That was the reality I was living in for a long time. I wrote it with Landon Conrath and a producer that goes by "poopybrad," his name's Brad Hale. He's amazing. We were just in Brad's basement in Minnesota and we knew we were going to write something kind of upbeat and funny. I had this funny story that I've been sitting on for a really long time. So, I told them the story and we all just burst out into laughter. And Landon kind of looked at me and was like "we're going to write that and we are going to put the word fortnite in the song and we're gonna make this. Like you need to get this off your chest and immediately." We had the chorus in about two seconds. I had been holding on to those emotions and that feeling for like two years at that point. So, it was really easy to rip that band aid off and say what I finally needed to say.
I was convinced that song was going to go nowhere. So, it was really fun that my whole team really loved it. The fans on tour really loved it after I shared the story about why we'd written it. It was a shock. It was very surprising to me. I think we pretty much laughed our way through that whole session. Landon just played guitar the whole time. We ended up settling on the first riff that he played which is the first one you hear in the intro. I kind of said "fuck it" and wrote just some really brutal lyrics. The second verse, I wrote a line like, "there's a girl in me that misses us, but I hope that she gets hit by a bus and wakes up in bed with amnesia." And I was like yeah, that's fully what I would like to happen. That would be great, thanks. I think that song really got me out of my shell and made me feel a lot more comfortable about laughing about the situation as opposed to leaning into it so much. I kind of looked at it finally and was able to laugh it off and let it go. That's fully the reason this song ended up on the EP outside of all of the other fun parts of it. I needed to write that and let it go into the ether and now it's there and it's just existing and I get to sing about it all the time now. But, it's really one of my favorite tracks on the EP.
[UNPUBLISHED]: Your EP comes out on February 17th – congratulations! I love the title, Halfway. How do you feel about it coming out? Can you tell us about some of the inspiration behind it?
[BER]: The title track is honestly the inspiration for the entire EP, which I think is interesting. I definitely have been listening to a lot of JP Saxe and Gracie Abrams and cycling back into The Weepies and things I grew up with. But, I think as far as influences go, I've just been feeling inspired by my friends and the people that I've been able to collaborate with on this EP. When people ask me who inspired the record or the sonics of it I'm like, "well, the people I made it with." Which is really cool. I did a lot of it with Now, Now. They were the blueprint of indie pop in the 2015, 2014 era. I'm so lucky to have met them. They have changed my whole writing process and really brought out a side of me that I've wanted to bring out for a really long time. The first track that we wrote for this EP together was "Boys Who Kiss You In Their Car" and immediately I was like, "Okay, this is going to be the thing." But "Halfway" was the song that came first outside of "Superspreader." I wrote that right after my first EP. "Superspreader" feels like an extension of the first EP. So, to have it on this kind of ties it together and I feel like they're a part one and part two of each other.
But then came "Halfway" and as soon as we wrote that, I felt like I finally explained to myself with this song that that's where I was. There's a lot of breakup songs and there's a lot of "I love you" songs out in the world. But, I didn't know a ton of songs about the place that I was in which I ended up deeming as my “halfway.” I was so heartbroken when I wrote this record. But, I was so ready to not be anymore because it had been a year. And I was like, "Damn, I'm like lingering on this and it's not fun. And I'm just in this void and I'm still crying about it. And I need to get myself out of this."
So, writing each and every one of these songs was a way for me to tackle an emotion that I was afraid of. And I think that's really fun. "Halfway" showed me this world that I was feeling. And then came "Boys Who Kiss You In Their Car" and that was about all the weird dating experiences that I had. It was so awkward and hard to get in my own skin and I was actually just completely chasing exactly what I lost. And then "Your Internet Sucks" happened and I realized I was actually really angry. There were a lot of things I was still holding on to that I really needed to let go of. Then I wrote "Slut Phase" and "Over You" on the same writing trip to London last summer and they tied it all together for me. I was like "oh, I just finished my EP" because this is exactly what I'm trying to say now. "Slut Phase" is the first thing you hear and "Halfway" had to be in the middle because it's called "Halfway" and I would have been mad at myself if I did that any other way. Then "Over You" is at the end. But with "Slut Phase" the first lyric in it is "is it a slut phase or is it a band aid?" By the end of the EP, I think you really realize that it was just a band aid.
I'm just really excited for this really messy roller coaster collection of songs to be out in the world finally and grow its wings. The response to the four singles that I've had up to this point has been amazing and way more than I ever expected, so it's really cool.
[UNPUBLISHED]: What was your creative process like for this EP, do you feel like you were creatively challenged? How does it differ from your last?
[BER]: This last EP that I did, most of it was made on Zoom. I wasn't trying to make an EP, I just was trying to not die. I was trying to keep myself afloat during the pandemic. I just moved back to Minnesota and I was just doing a lot of Zoom sessions and writing and I would send these demos to my manager and be happy about it. And then I'd post a snippet of them on tik tok and be happy about it. And that was fine and that was my existence. All of a sudden, my manager Steve was like, "Hear me out, let's make these into an EP. This is going to be your debut thing because I feel like we're just going to do it." And I was like, "Yeah, awesome, great." And then "Meant To Be" rolled around and there was a lot of trajectory there. But we've been winging it truly in the best way. Which I think you have to do, you have to learn with every step you take and we've not missed a step yet. Sure we take steps backwards, but we're doing everything, we're not jumping ahead.
And with this EP, immediately my thought process was "shit, I have to make an EP." And that was not what I walked into the first one with. Once "Halfway" was written, I definitely started conceptualizing all of it a little bit and remembering that I wanted the songs to be about a specific thing. But, that was scary for me because that meant I had to face it and not hide from it anymore. But, I got to do this whole EP in person and Zoom did not touch it and I'm really happy about that. It felt like I was gaining back something that I'd lost. I had my hands on the music a lot more than on my computer keyboard. So, it was really cool to be able to learn more and have more of a sonic shift with it. We really just tried everything out of the book. I have some crazy demos that didn't make it onto this EP that are doing just the most insane things. I was really not afraid of trying stuff because we were in the room. We weren't wasting Zoom minutes or anything. But, I think we had a lot of fun. I purposely wanted a lot of the lyrics to be very tongue in cheek and funny. A lot of them are, so it's a fun thing to not take them too seriously. I think the thing that differs the most is that I was able to make this with my friends in the same place, in the same room. The drums are there this time. There aren't a lot of songs with drums in it on the first EP and it's just a heavier sound for heavier emotions.
[UNPUBLISHED]: Can you tell us about the cover art for the EP?
[BER]: So that's a real photo. Did not stage that. It's from New Year’s 2022, last year. I went to a party and did not make it to midnight. It was such a fun night. We all had such crazy years. My boyfriend actually took that photo which is really funny because this EP is not about him. It's about everything else that I have to work through constantly with him. But, he was very gracious to let us use the photo. He just snapped it on one of those funny point and shoot cameras from CVS. And I loved it so much, I just felt like it really embodied who I was and where I was and what I wanted this EP to say. I think I'd been joking about using it as an album cover, like album artwork for a single or something. Originally, I just thought it'd be really funny to use it for "Slut Phase." But then we got to the whole EP, and we'd done shoots and I have a bunch of photos in a folder that all could be really great album covers. But, I just couldn't let go of wanting to use that stupid photo from New Year's just because it felt like I was throwing up my emotions. And I think that's what this EP does. So it is a real photo. And I'm not ashamed.
[UNPUBLISHED]: You're embarking on your very first headline tour next month. How does that feel?
[BER]: I'm so scared. Things just don't ever feel real when stuff like that comes around. I know the second we start playing those shows and I'm back in it again, I'm just going to feel really lucky and so happy that it's even happening. I've never done a headline tour, I've hardly done a headline show. I've done one in London and I remember just being like, "why are all these people here to see me?" But it is so cool and those are the experiences that make this feel real and remind me that "oh yeah, I'm a musician and I write songs for people and for me and people listen to them." And I am a person that needs that. Not necessarily validation, but it's good to know that other people are participating and it's not just in my head. I think because I started releasing music in that time where everything was just on the internet and nothing was in person and you weren't connecting with faces and names, it took me a long time to realize that any of this was really real. Then on my first two support tours, I just was blown out of the park. It's a completely different story all of a sudden, so it was really cool and I really look forward to that. And I can't believe that we've gotten to this point so quickly. It's really intimidating and fun and scary. To see people buying tickets in real time is really nuts. I just feel really lucky that it's happening. I'm super excited but I'm really nervous and I hope I can just give a really good show. I'm going to give a really good show. I can feel it. Our rehearsals have been sick so I think it will go really well.
[UNPUBLISHED]: Is there a song that you are excited to perform live?
[BER]: "Slut Phase." It's gonna feel so good to sing that with everyone. I think I say that too because it's one of the two songs on the EP that I've never performed live. So, I think it'll be really fun. These last two support tours I have been sprinkling in pieces like "Superspreader" once or "Halfway" has been in the setlist for a while. "Your Internet Sucks" was a favorite in the set for the whole of the Sigrid tour that I did. I can't wait to do that again and it is going to be fun because now I'll be playing those songs for people who've already heard them, hopefully. But, I think "Slut Phase" is going to be a really fun kick in the face to perform and sing. It's so nice to have a live band, we've expanded my live set up a little bit. So, it's just high energy and really fun and the type of Hannah Montana shit I've been dreaming about for a long time.
[UNPUBLISHED]: The last time we spoke with you, we asked you how you would describe And I’m Still Thinking About That in colors. What colors do you think describe Halfway?
[BER]: I would say it's like intense reds and every once in a while there's a big splash of blue in there. Like a sort of dulled, sad, blue. Halfway blue.
[UNPUBLISHED]: I noticed that you released your last EP in February 2022 and you’re releasing this one in February 2023. Is there a significance behind this?
[BER]: That is such an accident. My manager and I actually talked about that the other day. I can't believe it. Little bit of a year cycle. That was an accident. But, we're happy it's happening. I'm really glad that they aren't too far apart and I have been releasing singles six weeks outside of each other too. So, it's not been too long without new music or anything. But maybe that's a trend. Who knows? Maybe I'll keep up with it. Or not.
[UNPUBLISHED]: What are you most excited for this year?
[BER]: I think the touring and the festivals that we're playing in the UK this summer are going to be really cool. And outside of that my brother's getting married. I'm so excited for that, the sweetest thing that's happening in August. So there's just a lot of big life moments for me and for my family and it's gonna be a good year. But music wise, I think touring is always gonna be my answer. It's my favorite part of this. I really love it.
[UNPUBLISHED]: Who have you been listening to lately? Any artists that helped you reach your “halfway?”
[BER]: That was a cute question. I think Carol Ades. Absolutely. And she actually co-wrote "Halfway" with me, so that's perfect. But, I'm just a huge fan of hers. I've been listening a lot to Lennon Stella again and I think I mentioned JP Saxe. I think his record was really good. There's a lot of cool lyrical moments that I just love. And I love the Sabrina Carpenter album. I'm kind of obsessed with it. I've actually recently dived headfirst back into Ellie Goulding's entire discography because she's a flipping queen and wow it's so strong and so good. So I think it changes all the time, but those have been my staples the last two months.
[UNPUBLISHED]: Anything else you want readers to know?
[BER]: I am just really excited about this tour and excited for the EP to be out in the world and for people to be able to hear it.
