Pop-Princess girli Ushers in New Era of Music with “Imposter Syndrome”
Photo by Monika Wilczynska
London-based pop songstress girli, AKA Milly Toomey, released “Imposter Syndrome” that ushers her into a new era of music. Immersed in electro-pop choruses, dreamy melodies and blunt lyricism, girli speaks on issues related to mental health, self-discovery and destructive behaviors. girli has been on an explorative journey of self-discovery, only to conclude she cannot be boxed into a sound or genre. The songstress had been questioning who she was and had put so much pressure on knowing the answer, but realized it’s okay to not always know. To mark this epiphany, girli released the music she was always called to make.
Driven by electric soundscapes and storytelling built around validating yourself and your mental health, girli tells a relatable story for any artist struggling to find themselves in their work. “Imposter Syndrome” came to girli after feeling very lost and feeling of doubt clouded her artistic persona.
After overcoming feelings of uncertainty, girli advises her listeners to pursue their artistic craft without abandon.
I'm always figuring my shit out that happens after going for it and not questioning yourself too much,” girli says. “Not questioning, especially creatively, like judging yourself or judging what you’re making and just making it.”
[UNPUBLISHED]: Thank you for sitting down and talking to Unpublished Magazine. Our readers would love to get to know you and your music more. Can you talk us through what inspires your artistic style and persona?
[GIRLI]: I'd say it's changed over the years. I think initially what inspired me a lot was a lot of riot grrrl feminist punk bands from the 90s. I was really into Bikini Kill and I loved Courtney Love and Hole. That fused with when I started making music fused with the love of hyper-pop meets a Harajuku style which was very much the cocktail when I started making music. These days, those influences are still present and I’m more inspired by a lot of badass women making pop music that’s relatable. A lot of my songs touch on mental health, body issues and struggles. It’s a weird mix because sonically, my songs are really happy and upbeat, but the topics they cover are pretty heavy.
[UNPUBLISHED]: Your latest release “Imposter Syndrome” has a really raw energy to it. What was the inspiration behind the single and how did the creative process look like for you?
[GIRLI]: This song came together because I initially wrote an idea called impostor syndrome probably three or four years ago. I was in the studio. I had just been dropped by my first label, and I was feeling very lost, and I just felt like I was just being so hard on myself mentally. I wrote this song about those feelings, about wanting to run away, about doubting myself, about never feeling good enough, and then the song got forgotten about and it became one of those demos that just kind of gathers dust really. I was actually streaming on Twitch, and I was streaming and I do this thing where I play my fans unreleased songs like my demos that will probably never come out. My manager was watching and he said this song is so great. I basically dusted it off and went back into the studio and worked on it more, rewrote some of the verses and even though it was a few years later, that song is still relatable to me.
[UNPUBLISHED]: It sounds like you've been through an exploratory self discovery journey throughout the creation process of this song. I was wondering what advice you would want to give your listeners on discovering their own creative styles and voice?
[GIRLI]: I'd say just keep doing it and practicing it. I'm always figuring my shit out that happens after going for it and not questioning yourself too much. Not questioning, especially creatively, like judging yourself or judging what you’re making and just making it.
[UNPUBLISHED]: If you can describe “Impostor Syndrome” in three words, which three would you choose and why?
[GIRLI]: Painfully relatable. I’m also going to come up with a concept called sad trace.
[UNPUBLISHED]: “Imposter Syndrome” also has an accompanying music video. What was the inspiration behind the video and how was your experience filming it?
[GIRLI]: I'm super happy with how the video came out because it's pretty much exactly what I wanted it to look like. I went to Cassandra, who's my video director and she's amazing. I was like, ‘I want this video to basically represent exactly what impostor syndrome feels like to me and it feels like everyone's laughing at me behind my back. Everyone around me is in their own weird world.’ It feels like there's a bunch of haters in my head all the time. She thought of a protest scene and people are going to be screaming at me and having signs held up saying that I’m fake. I was running away from them and we conjured up this scary world of imposter syndrome. Filming it was amazing. It was really challenging because we're filming a bunch of it outside and obviously the weather decided to be awful that day, so it was raining, storming and hailing. We were trying to film this protest scene, so it was super dramatic, but it's so fun because most of the protesters in the video are actual fans who won a competition to be in the video. They were all bringing the energy and we had a nice group hug at the end after spending hours screaming at me saying they hated me and that I was fake, so it was pretty funny.
[UNPUBLISHED]: You're about to go on your headlining tour for the Fucked It Up tour, huge congratulations. Do you have any pre-show or post-show rituals to help ensure that you play your best show or ease any anxiety?
[GIRLI]: I think pre-show, I always get really into this very clear, peaceful headspace because I need to be in that zone. I can't really be overwhelmed or around hectic energy. I'm very unsociable before I go on.
I just like to be in my own little world, super quiet. I do all my vocal warm ups. I like to sit with myself and do my makeup which is a meditative time. After the show, I have so much adrenaline, and I always go out and say hi to fans at the merch store.
[UNPUBLISHED]: What is your favorite part of touring?
[GIRLI]: I love touring. It's my favorite. I'd say the feeling when seeing people are just screaming my lyrics back to me from stage and feeling like ‘yeah, this is exactly where I'm supposed to be,’ because that's not really a feeling that I experienced a lot in my life – feeling like I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be. I'm an over-thinker and I have anxiety and impostor syndrome, and playing live is pretty much the only time where I feel like I'm in the right place.
[UNPUBLISHED]: What is your favorite song to play live and why?
[GIRLI]: At the moment I really love playing “I Really F**ked It Up” which is a song that I released last year in September just because everyone knows the intro to that song and everyone screams along. There’s a lyric in the chorus where I talked about being a hurricane and thrashing, so the crowd goes crazy and that was just super fun.
[UNPUBLISHED]: How are you feeling in this current era of your career and what does the rest of the year look like for you that you would like to share with Unpublished?
[GIRLI]: I'm feeling really excited about all of the new music that I'm making, feeling really grateful for all of my fans who have been there since the beginning. This year, there's a lot of touring and we're doing the American tour, and then there's a lot more touring planned for the end of the year and a lot of music planned. I've had quite a few periods in my career where I won't release music for like a year or have a hiatus and like that's not happening anytime soon. I'm not stopping anytime soon. There's so much more to come.
[UNPUBLISHED]: Is there anything that I didn't ask that you'd like to add to the interview?
[GIRLI]: I have this Youtube series called “Obsessions” where I basically have been going to different cities around the world and interviewing people and kind of figuring out my own obsessive personality. When I'm in different places – and my little sister who's a videographer – we've been working together on that which has been really cool. We did an LA episode and are doing some European ones now.
