Deb Fan Balances the Duality of Nature in Ethereal Debut EP ‘Gemini Moon’
A story of heartbreak and seeking the duality of both perspectives, Deb Fan debuts her highly anticipated EP Gemini Moon that explores her moon sign in depth. Exploring the innate duality of her Gemini moon sign further, Fan writes from a place that is based in delusion, while fully living in her truth and the tales that followed her heartbreak.
The haunting 6-track offering is centralized around duality in two parts; first being the search for control both internally and externally while grieving a heart-wrenching breakup, and second being the duality of Fan from a cultural perspective, as she continues to embrace expressivity while unlearning the social standards that were ingrained deep in her mind as a young girl in Hong Kong.
“The first track ‘Thru & Thru’ is centered around delusion. You know that this isn’t right for you and you know the relationship isn’t good, but you’re going to make it happen regardless,” Fan says. “It’s delusional but also very real to me and my truth.”
Written in the solace of her Los Angeles bedroom, the 24-year-old’s lush, ethereal vocals juxtaposed against brash, grungy production intentionally paint the polarity of her natural being, furthering the narrative of the vulnerable experience of searching for oneself post-breakup. In Asian culture, the moon serves as a symbol of feminine power, and Fan’s striking debut EP is a nod to this new chapter.
“Growing up in a traditional Chinese household, I didn’t know what expressivity meant because of how my culture views my gender,” Fan says. “Moving to America was a huge step in understanding the essence of being a woman. I’ve learned to embrace the power of being hard and soft at the same time. Because of my innate duality, this project was written from a place that is half realistic, and half delusion, Gemini Moon taking into account all perspectives.”
Gemini Moon is constructed around cinematic themes, each track detailing a specific feeling throughout her mourning process while listeners immerse themselves deeper into Fan’s world. From numbness (“Run My Mind”), to lust and love (“Rules”), depression (“Pull My Hair”), delusion (“Thru & Thru”), anger (“Three Nights”), and passion (“Rules – Acoustic Version”), Gemini Moon tries to answer the unanswerable questions such as ‘why am I here?’ ‘why do I do this?’ and ‘what is my purpose here?’
[UNPUBLISHED]: Thank you for sitting down and talking to Unpublished Magazine. Our readers would love to get to know you and your music more. For any readers who aren’t familiar, what inspires your artistic style and creative persona?
[DEB]: A lot of older music really inspires me. Cinematography, the arts and creative industry really inspire me and my artistic style. In terms of the music side, definitely old 70s psychedelic rock music.
[UNPUBLISHED]: You recently released your debut EP Gemini Moon and a huge congratulations is in order? What is the inspiration behind the project?
[DEB]: At first it was about following heartbreak, but as an artist, it’s a very innate duality in my life where I try to see things from both perspectives. I believe there is no right or wrong answer, so a lot of heartbreak is encapsulated in a very holistic perspective. I’m also inspired by my gemini moon and its dual nature. I also work for a corporation on top of being an artist. A lot of artists have that duality in them where they switch back and forth from trying to be a star and then a normal person. My EP encompasses that contrast in my life.
[UNPUBLISHED]: How do you balance working corporate and working on your art?
[DEB]: Honestly, I'm still trying to look for that but I'm definitely in this time period of laying low on the artistry side of things because putting out a project and working full time in corporate is surreal. I just dropped the project and then I go into work and no one knows about it. I’m a huge workaholic, so I mostly just work and then once I clock out, I need to create. I have that pressure on me where I feel like I need to create, otherwise I feel like it's kind of meaningless.
[UNPUBLISHED]: Why did you name the EP Gemini Moon and why did you gravitate towards your moon sign the most compared to the rest of your chart to highlight?
[DEB]: I'm very introverted and a homebody, so I have a lot of time to myself. Your moon sign dictates your inner emotions and who you think you are as a person. I have an air sign for my moon, so it gets pretty chaotic at times, at least in my head. It’s hard to find solace and it feels like a storm. I need to find meaning and sit down and make sense of everything going through my head. The EP is me trying to make sense of how I can cope with my own emotions.
[UNPUBLISHED]: What is your favorite part of being a Gemini moon?
[DEB]: The complexity.
[UNPUBLISHED]: The EP has six tracks and it’s broken up into two parts that center around duality. I definitely got an energy around heavy intention in the way it's set up. I would love to know more about the meaning behind this concept and why you chose this structure?
[DEB]: I didn’t make the songs in order. I made the songs representing different parts of what I was going through throughout my relationship all the way until the end. The first track “Thru & Thru” is centered around delusion. You know that this isn’t right for you and you know the relationship isn’t good, but you’re going to make it happen regardless. It’s delusional but also very real to me and my truth. I set it up in a way where the second track “Rules” detects every emotion I was going through like lust, anger and delusion. This is my truth and it hurts and that person hurt me a lot. The structure was unintentional but follows a very truthful and vulnerable storyline.
[UNPUBLISHED]: What is your favorite song from Gemini Moon and why do you love it? Is there a specific lyric or message that you gravitate towards the most?
[DEB]: “Thru & Thru” is the first track that resonates with me the most because when conflict happens, it doesn’t break anything. Conflict doesn’t break relationships, it doesn’t break who you are. I definitely live in a very delusional state where I feel like a lot of things will work out in the end. I don’t give up on things. I don’t give up on a relationship, so that resonates with me because I feel like it’s very true to my nature and who I am as a person.
[UNPUBLISHED]: What has been your favorite or most rewarding part of the creative process for Gemini Moon?
[DEB]: It’s rewarding to prove to myself that I can write an EP without a label backing and doing everything independently with my friends and working my ass off in corporate. Even though I feel very busy all the time, I'm still able to pull through and that's been the most rewarding experience, just the fact that I finished and can say pencils down.
[UNPUBLISHED]: What messages, emotions or story do you hope listeners can take away from the EP?
[DEB]: I hope that people can take away that I’m writing from different perspectives. When I get close to someone, I am always seeing things from both perspectives. The message that I’m trying to get across is that things can be really deep, but they can also not be.
[UNPUBLISHED]: How are you feeling in this current era of your career and what does the rest of the year look like for you that you would like to share with Unpublished?
[DEB]: I really like that this era is very different. In the past, I was hiding behind a mask of insecurity and it’s definitely projected as feeling confused about my persona online. People see me and they’re like, ‘wow, she’s tough, she’s hard.’ When they listen to my music, they get really confused at the contrast. I always want to have fun with my music. I do want to go hard but also validate the softness inside of me. I write a lot about my feelings around heartbreak and sadness, but I don’t always want to write about that. I’m currently working on some new songs and I hope people can see me mature as I grow out of the EP. I’m working towards an album and it’s still in the concept stages and I have bits and pieces of it.
[UNPUBLISHED]: Is there anything I didn’t ask that you would like to add to the interview?
[DEB]: To add onto that duality, it’s just coming from Asia, I wanted to emphasize that I lived in Asia for 18 years of my life and I moved out here. I feel like I’m constantly trying to prove to myself or make people understand who I am. I feel like that shows through my EP and that contrast.
