Is “Sad Girl Music” Really For All Sad Girls?

No matter what time of the year it is or what I am feeling at that point of my life, my playlists are always full of artists like Phoebe Bridgers, Taylor Swift, Lana Del Rey, and Clairo – what the internet has coined as “sad girl music.” These powerful female voices look introspectively, putting our inner feelings and dialogue into words and melodies. Their songs describe emotions and feelings that we have – feelings that, sometimes, we can’t even put into words. We find ourselves heavily relating to the stories that these artists detail and articulate in their songwriting, making them a representation of a generation. 

However, are they really a representation of an entire generation? As I scroll through my playlists, I see that most of the artists do not look like me, nor have they gone through the same experiences as me. As an Asian woman, I sometimes struggle relating to the problems and troubles expressed in their lyrics. While some of their experiences may be universal and heart-wrenching for all individuals, like Taylor Swift grieving her late grandmother in “marjorie,” Phoebe Bridgers singing about the death of a close friend in “Funeral,” or Lorde singing about how feels to be a burden to other people in “Liability,” it is very difficult to relate to other experiences that they have, considering we live very different lives. This leads me to ask: Is sad girl music really for all sad girls?  

Thus, the search for sad girl music, from a non-white perspective commences. Throughout the entirety of my life, I have immersed myself in this certain genre – a genre dominated by white women. I have listened to countless songs and consumed so many forms of media that narrated the lives of white women, that I have somewhat imparted their hardships. In these circumstances, I have chosen familiarity to narrate my life and to see the world. Due to the lack of representation in this specific genre, it has become quite difficult for me to define my own problems, simply because our experiences were rarely highlighted. The root of “sadness” within Asian women could be considered much more complicated and nuanced than the problems we have been hearing our entire lives. Tribulations that are deeply implicated in ideas of racism and prejudice come at full force when it comes to the narratives of our lives, yet they are merely emphasized when it comes to discussions about the problems of our generation. As a result, we often undermine our struggles and put the struggles of others at the forefront of our focus. Consequently, we often internalize our difficulties, doing exactly the opposite of what these women have done. Although this is not deliberately done, the lack of representation essentially invalidates our feelings and emotions.

Ultimately, this can heavily impact one’s sense of self. We begin to question and compare our disparities with the media we choose to consume and the people we choose to idolize. Throughout my life, I found myself appreciating and enjoying songs that I simply could not identify with. For instance, “You Belong With Me,” by Taylor Swift is a classic and catchy tune, however, the experiences that are described are very much based in white, middle-class, suburban life. Or we can say the same about Lana Del Rey’s countless songs about the Americana lifestyle from the 50s and 60s, which is a moment in history that was significantly devoid of the Asian-American experience. I was simply consuming music for music’s sake, as one cannot deny a good song once it comes on. It was only recently that I started to value lyricism as an art form and started to see the importance and significance to one’s listening experience. This is not to say that these songs are not examples of brilliant lyricism – they most definitely are, but instead, this is commentary on how they are able to be placed within their social contexts. 

Despite these circumstances, I still adore all of these artists – they have played a huge role in my life and I’m sure many others can say the same. But it should be said that deeming them the voices of our generation may be somewhat of a reach, when we consider their diverse audiences. It is important to consider the evident disconnect between the artist and the listener – to take everything that is presented to us with a grain of salt. Through this realization, it is crucial to acknowledge our own experiences, namely the ones that we never got to focus on growing up. Sadness is a universal emotion that we can all relate to, hence why this arising genre seems to be gaining traction by the minute. These artists have some of the most fascinating minds, articulating their beautiful thoughts into musical masterpieces. Nonetheless, sadness, as with any other emotion, is caused by something specific, and these origins are where the sense of distance comes into play. This essay is most definitely not a critique of the artists themselves, and these factors undoubtedly do not change my adoration for the musicians. Instead, it is simply a commentary on this music genre and its harmful impacts on the lives and perspectives of its Asian audiences, and certainly other groups, as well.