Kinky Memes

Instagram has never been the most welcoming place for sex-related content. The app has deleted many sex workers, strippers, and other sexy folks of the app. To top it off, it keeps censoring and shadowbanning voices of the sex-positive community. The December 2020 update of the app’s Terms Of Use was particularly harmful to the sex workers and sex-content creators on the platform. Instagram’s most recent changes further limited the “sensitive” material its users would see, resulting in more accounts being silenced.  

Despite the unwelcoming regulations, sex-related content creators are continuing to find community on the platform. True to the internet’s identity, the online kink-community has no shortage of memes. Melbourne, Australia-based The Funny Dom (TFD) is one of multiple kinky meme creators on the app. 

When creating content, TFD tries to meet three criteria: “my ideal for a post is something that hits on 3 levels, sexy, funny & informative and/or positive in kink advocacy.” With his content he works to normalize the sensationalized parts of kink and is open to educate and help out kinksters through the follower-based Q&A sessions. “I think doing some education is a responsibility, especially as I'm a male het[ero] Dominant, taking up space like this[.] I take pride in using this presence to offer some possible learning for new kinksters,” he wrote. 

TFD noticed a decline in exposure after the IG update and was threatened with deactivation when his post was flagged. “After a year of work, building a community thru [sic] positive awareness, support, humour and kink/sex positive original posts, I’ve realised it could all be burnt down based on some abstract puritanical algorithm that seems to target sex workers and educators,” he wrote in our Instagram conversation. He stressed how creators are most often “simply trying to exist, represent themselves and god forbid raise the often-shameful level of cultural discourse on sex, kink and identity”.

Another account raising the “(…)discourse on sex, kink, and identity” is @m0istk1tten or Madeline who started her account in March after her psychologist suggested she’d find a hobby she could do on her heaviest mental health days. It was also a way to stop “shitposting on main” and find like-minded individuals. “I wanted to create a space where everyone enjoyed the content I posted and we could all have a laugh.” 

The content? Living up to her Instagram handle, Madeline said that her followers have come know her for her memes about semen in or on her (“I’m so sorry lol” Madeline adds after this admission). 

The account has allowed her to explore her sexuality and make new friendships. Through her interactions with other meme accounts, she’s discovered new interests (“I never knew I liked my head being stomped on while I was having sex until I saw someone post about it”) and broadened her understanding of sexuality. 

“Meeting these people from the comfort of my own home has made me feel so much less lonely which has contributed to my mental health improving and I’ve found so much love and support from people who have/had similar experiences with their mental health too,” Madeline wrote. 

Another kinkster bracing the Instagram algorithm in search of community and a laugh is Bunny (@probablyabunny on IG). 

She explained that her Instagram page allowed her to share her authentic self. The authentic self of Philadelphia-based, New England-raised Bunny is kinky and would “post cum content constantly” if it wasn’t for the possible Instagram ban. “The more mundane parts of my life are not what I like to emphasize,” she said. One of her recent posts in which she identifies as a ‘set of holes’ is a clear change from the “garden harvest” she posted two years back. 

Bunny doesn’t see herself stepping into the role of kink educator and finds IG perfect for that very reason: you don’t have to be a professional, shitposting is celebrated. “I always try to gently remind my page that I am no expert, all I can speak from is my own experience and integrate the education I've learned over the years.”

For Bunny, the memes are an extra tool to discuss her sexual interests. “It makes [communicating] wants and needs silly and fun and accessible. I've been kinky longer than I've been making memes but now I get to find succinct ways to talk about kink besides talking in circles about how I like to be spit on,” she explained in her email.

Her memes also serve as a digital wink to her Dom. “(…) he likes when I post the memes and he knows it's about him or a game we've played.” Finally, her memes are a celebration. “I like that I can brag about the incredible kinky play I get to have,” Bunny wrote.  

When I asked her if there was anything she’d like to mention that we hadn’t discussed, Bunny stepped away from memes and expanded to kink in general: “If you care for kink, it's of the utmost importance to treat the people you're kinky with, with care,” she said. 

After all, memes are just memes, no matter how kinky, raunchy, or, in Bunny’s and Madeline’s case, sticky; it’s the community around them, the kinksters dodging Instagram’s restrictions, that truly matter.