The Science of Savoring: How to Relish Life’s Perfectly Ordinary, Yet Extraordinary Moments
Like most people, I struggle with fully savoring positive experiences in my life. I could be laughing with friends, eating a delicious meal, or enjoying a bike ride alongside the Brooklyn Bridge and my mind will instantly question the goodness I’m feeling. That is when the “fuckening” begins. As it states in the Urban Dictionary, the “fuckening” happens when your day is going well, but somehow you don't believe it and suddenly something bad happens. It sucks. So what can we do to stop it? Positive psychology’s research on savoring may provide the answer.
Savoring can be defined as “the capacity to notice, appreciate and intensify the positive aspects of our lives.” But the art of savoring goes beyond the present moment. We can savor the past through reminiscent savoring (remembering the positive moments that sparked positive emotions) and we can savor the future through anticipatory savoring (enjoying the positive moments that lead up to positive events). Either way, savoring provides the perfect opportunity to amplify the goodness in our lives, increase creativity, and even improve our sleep as well as strengthen our immune systems.
For the purpose of this article, I chose to practice the art of savoring myself. I took a seat on my terrace and thought back to one of my favorite memories: the 2019 Chen-Villalba-Craniotes Thanksgiving dinner. It was a huge family feast with my Chinese, Cuban, Native-American, Black, and Greek relatives. It was a dinner for the ages. All the people I love in one room. All the dishes I love on one table. Nothing could be more perfect.
Tapping into these memories more closely, I remembered how happy I was to see my aunt and my two cousins. We laughed, hugged, and had deep discussions about our favorite foods. I told her how spectacular her green bean casserole was. The flaky, buttery crust made a beautiful symphony with the layers of green beans, sour cream, and caramelized fried onions underneath. The flavors blended into each other in perfect harmony. It smelled like home.
I also remember squeezing my cousin Azzy’s cheeks before grace, and the tone of his childish laugh after everyone says “Amen.” It had a bubbliness to it that only three years olds could achieve. I remember the softness of his socks and the surprised look on his face when he learned that they were slip-proof. I remember the decorative turkey-themed placemats, the doormen that greet me at the lobby, and the family’s sleepy cat, Harvey.
My heart warms up when I think about these small details: the smiles, the laughs, the hugs. It reminds me that I love and am loved every single day. And nothing communicates that better than a shared meal.
So, as I leave you with these personal thoughts, I encourage you to practice the exercise on your own. Imagine any moment, past, present, or future, that is worth savoring. Is it a turkey sandwich you had for lunch? A facetime call with your best friend? A new dress you bought online? Whatever the case may be, take time to think to yourself: What can I savor? Trust me, you’ll thank me later.
Sources (in order of appearance):
“Fuckening.” Urban Dictionary, www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Fuckening.
Stanley, Jan. “The Science of Savoring.” Live Happy Magazine, Live Happy, 16 May 2019, www.livehappy.com/science/science-savoring.