A Friendly Reminder to See Your Sexual Healthcare Specialist
cover art by Emma Niggley
I don’t know about you, but I love my doctor. Making the appointment, actually going to the office, the anxiety surrounding whatever exotic disease I’m convinced I have because of too much time on WebMD...not so much. But my doctor...yeah, they’re incredible. That might sound like a strange thing to say. A lot of times, we associate trips to the doctor’s office with illness, a lack of wellbeing, and...everything I listed above. But in that association, there’s a lot of comfort, too. Doctors are here to help us and to make sure everything is in tip-top shape. And yes, “everything” includes the great and all-mighty Down Under.
When sex-ed was first introduced into my middle school academic diet, they made sure to mention all the evils and uglies of sex. They made sure to mention all of the STDs— with a passionate emphasis on the incurable ones— and the dangers of pregnancy…not to mention the heartbreak you’ll inevitably feel when casual sex turns into unrequited love. Yes, these are important points to make; there are potential consequences of sexual activity and, because this is real life, they need to be discussed. The problem here is that this is only part of the story…with a little bit of fear-mongering here and there.
Yes, you could get pregnant.
Yes, you could get an STD.
Yes, sex can be unexpectedly emotional.
But when sex-ed tells you these things, they don’t tell you how to deal with them. Even worse, they don’t even tell you the extent of what could happen when you bump uglies— or things that could happen even if you don’t. You leave the auditorium not knowing that yeast infections exist, that certain medications can drastically change your sex drive, or that there are other methods of birth control besides condoms (even though you should still wear the rubber). This is because the primary goal of many sexual education curriculums is to prevent people from having sex, rather than actually educating them on sexual health.
The truth is, sexual health goes beyond STDs and pregnancy. Depending on the individual, there are questions related to protection (again, use a rubber), finding the right kind of birth control, controlling irregular menstrual cycles, or finding out whether that persistent itch is bacterial vaginosis or a yeast infection. Maybe you’re feeling a little dry, or having trouble reaching orgasm. Maybe it’s time to get screened for a chronic condition or cancer. And this is just the tip of the iceberg. Whether you’ve had one partner, multiple partners, or no partners— regardless of your gender or sexual orientation— there’s an aspect of sexual wellbeing that applies to you.
Sex-ed only sort of-kind of tells you this...and then rarely offers its students resources for if and when these incidents occur. While I’m all for sexual education, the general information and push for universal abstinence aren’t going to cut it. This brings me to my next point:
Go see your sexual healthcare specialist.
Seriously.
Your doctor is your medical confidante. Supporting you is the primary aspect of their job description— beyond talking about the ins and outs of your sex life. Not only will your sexual healthcare specialist give you more information surrounding your concerns, but they can do so with a more personalized touch. For instance, they might help you manage your risks related to having sex, offer help when it comes to feeling safe during sex, or explain how to safely embrace your sexual identity. They can help alleviate the fear of having an itch, a sore, or a rash. They can also get you moving toward your sexual goals, such as becoming pregnant or avoiding pregnancy altogether; regulating your menstrual cycle, or exploring more holistic treatment options as opposed to traditional ones.
You can do this at any point in your sexual journey. Again, it doesn’t matter how many partners you’ve had, or if you haven’t had one at all. Your doctor is here to help you just the same, regardless of what brought you to their door. But, at the end of the day, they aren’t going to send you a formal invitation. These resources are available to you, and there is no shame in using them. Call your doctor. Make the appointment. You’re in good hands.