Body Hair & Femininity

Graphic by Grace McKean

I first learned what a “bush” was from boys in my 7th-grade class. Like most perceptions, I had about my body and what made me attractive or not, I learned them from the opinions of middle school boys. 

“She has a bush,” one boy said with a sneer to his friend, “it’s huge.” 

I had no clue what they meant, but I could tell from their tone of voice that this was something you did not want to have. I asked my friends and discovered that the thing that was so awful to have was something I assumed we all had. 

I’ve always been self-conscious about my body hair. The self-conscious feeling piqued in my middle school years, similar to many girls going through confusing puberty. Suddenly hair that you’ve had forever – hair that protected and felt like a second skin – was deemed unacceptable and unhygienic. Not only that, but new hair starts to grow, making your own body feel like a foreign place. 

Like many standards of beauty and femininity, media has often greatly influenced – or directly dictated – what (and how much) body hair was acceptable and desirable for women. 

In the 1970s, the bush was all the rage. According to The Guardian, early forms of porn in the 1970s starred women with full bushes – primarily in response to women’s sexual liberation and feminism.

However, in the 90s, hair down there started to become taboo. The shift first occurred in porn, and then made its way into real-life preferences — and expectations.

Pubic hair maintenance should be completely up to the individual’s personal preference, based on what makes them feel their best. However, the proposed ideal of the culture at large and partners’ desires can completely influence how a woman chooses to groom. According to a 2016 study, more than 20% of women chose to shave their pubic hair purely based on their partner’s preference. 

Our preferences for what we deem attractive are usually influenced by what is shown to us, by what we’re visually (or audibly) told is attractive. While a partner’s preference for their partner shaving their pubic hair certainly could be linked to personal preferences in feelings or sensations during sex, it’s important to acknowledge how media (and porn specifically) can influence how people think women’s naked bodies should look. And let’s not forget about how that affects women’s personal choices. 

However, there might be a shift to a new style in pubic hair: the bush might be making a comeback. According to a 2017 article from Vice, the bush is starting to become more popular in porn again.

If that says anything, it’s to not base a single thing about your appearance on the most popular trends at the time, or what you assume partners would find the most attractive. While that’s easier said than done, trends come and go and change constantly: the only thing you can truly rely on is what makes you feel your best.

I’ve noticed a difference in my attitude towards my own body hair since I’ve gotten older, separate from any outside influences. When in middle school I would have died if anyone commented on the hair on my arms, now, I wear short-sleeved shirts and think little to nothing about it. 

High school conversations made me want to crawl into a hole when I heard girls talking about how weird it was to have hair on your stomach, not realizing that was something “wrong” until then. 

Now, I never even consider the hair on my stomach, back, neck, or any other natural place my hair grows. And the most surprising of all: nobody else ever considers, critiques, or mentions it either. Half the time, people don’t even notice the things you’re so deeply insecure about until you voice them. 

I’ll never fully know what others think about my body unless they speak it out loud, but I’m not nearly as wrapped up in worrying about unsaid judgments as I was when I was younger. No one ever comments on the things I used to think might make me unlovable or unattractive, and if they did, it’s more of an indicator of someone I’d prefer not to be around. 

While it's important to question why we’re making certain choices when it comes to our bodies — who it’s for and why — the most vital thing is to do what makes you feel like your best, most true self. Because the abundance or lack of hair down there (or anywhere on your body) doesn’t dictate your femininity, your attractiveness, or, least of all, your worth.