Communication and Representation: TV Shows That Get Sex Right

We can all think of a sex scene that presents sex in the most unrealistic, pretentious way imaginable. Whether it be the glamorous, silk sheets or the sexy, messy hair which perfectly sweeps across the face - sex isn’t the most accurately represented on screen. However, there are a few shows that portray sex in a new and honest way. It poses the question: what is it about these shows that get sex right?

Normal People

Normal People captured the hearts of many during the first Covid lockdown in 2020. Based on the 2018 Sally Rooney novel of the same name, Normal People offered a heart-warming yet heart-wrenching look into the relationship of Connell and Marianne. The programme itself focuses on the two as they navigate themselves and their relationship through secondary school to their years at university. When I was watching this and came to the part where the two have sex for the first time, I was a little apprehensive. In most sex scenes (particularly ones focusing on virginity) there is always a little bit of doubt about how honest and real it’s going to be. I was wrong. Connell and Marianne’s first sex scene showed the most beautiful yet honest depiction of consent - something very rarely, if ever, spoken about in sex scenes. Consent: the absolute framework of what makes good sex what it is, is finally represented on screen. With this being one of the most-watched programmes in recent years, I would love for this to have been perhaps educational for some people. Connell simply saying “if you want to stop or anything, we can stop…it won’t be awkward” portrays the importance and ease of incorporating consent into sex.

Sex Education

This one seemed like a no-brainer when I was thinking about the shows for this article. Sex Education has undeniably dominated Netlfix for its honest, raw and representative depiction of sex and relationships. Sex Education as a whole should be applauded for the various topics and issues covered in every episode. It not only shines a light on those taboo topics of sex but, its inclusivity is commendable. One notable episode of the recent series is the reason why I wanted to include this programme. *spoiler alert* Maeve and Isaac’s sex scene was something I had never seen represented on TV before. Their sex scene was not only an incredible development of their relationship as the two grew even closer with one another but, it was a turning point for representation and inclusivity. It is fair to say that disabled characters are barely included in the main storylines of any television series, let alone being involved in any sex scene. What I love about this sex scene is Isaac isn’t patronised or undermined due to his disability - he isn’t characterised or limited by his wheelchair. The gentleness of the scene between Maeve and Isaac, asking each other what is and isn’t okay to do, is one of the most powerful sex scenes I have seen. Despite the end result of Maeve and Isaac’s relationship, I do think this sex scene is one of the most triumphant parts of the show.

Sex and the City

I get it. Sex and the City is a little bit outdated and don’t even get me started on And Just Like That. Since Sex and the City, there has been a real development in how sex is represented on screen. However, the creation of the show in itself contributed to this. Released over twenty years ago, SATC focuses on the romantic endeavours and lives of Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte and Samantha. Many films and shows we see about the lives of women in New York tend to be focussing on young women; however, it was quite revolutionary to see a programme focussing on the sex lives of four, older women. Today and let alone in the nineties, I do think there was a real stigma surrounding the sex lives of older women. It seems as though once a woman hits forty, she’s seen as “too old” to have sex or even think about it. The character of Samantha Jones in particular has become iconic and memorable for her one-liners, her style but most importantly: her attitude towards sex. I know that SATC can be regarded as outdated but, one cannot deny how revolutionary it was for representing sex amongst older women on screen.

With the frequency of sex scenes in TV shows, it would be fair to think that they would be a lot more accurate and honest in their depictions. I don’t know whether this is to do with the evolution of the male gaze and what is seen as desirable but, I would love to see a change. Reading this, you might wonder why I only have three shows listed. Honestly, these are the only ones that I have seen that refreshingly portray sex. Whether it be consent, communication, sweat or squeaky mattresses - all three of these programmes show sex in a relatable and raw way for all.