Her: The Long Distance Experience
The movie Her is a romance/sci-fi movie directed by Spike Jonze. It’s a beautiful movie that is loved by many (especially me) but due to its unusual premis, it became the butt end of many jokes despite being nominated for four oscars and winning best original screenplay.
For those of you who haven't watched this film I really suggest you do, it's on Netflix. But I'll give a brief synopsis so that my theories on the film make sense. Her follows a man (Joaquin Phoenix) named Theodore who has just experienced a traumatic breakup. His job is to write love letters for other people and many of his beautifully written love letters are featured in the film. Theodore downloads a super smart unique AI type operating system named Samantha (Scarlett Johansson) to his phone. The OS grows and becomes her own person. She and Theadore begin to fall in love with each other despite the fact that Samantha only exists through Theodore’s computer.
The film makes the watcher yearn for love and connection through its bright color scheme and hazy sunlit flashbacks of his past relationship. The director makes the watcher feel Theodore’s loneliness. The score and soundtrack strongly compliment the feeling of being alone as well with beautiful piano pieces written by Arcade Fire, who are no stranger to writing depressing music that could easily make me cry. There are also these echoey electronic sounding songs that make you feel as if there’s no one around for miles (see the track Loneliness from the soundtrack). Even when Theodore is “with'' Samantha and they’re happy, there is still a slight sense of loneliness and emptiness because she's not physically there.
If any of you reading have experienced a long distance relationship you’re probably saying to yourself “hey that sounds familiar!” and I would definitely agree. So much so that the way I interpret this movie is that it is a metaphor for a long distance relationship.
Like any relationship there are ups and downs and anyone who has done long distance knows that, sometimes, the downs can feel absolutely crushing. But the ups, when you get a text from them, or fall asleep on facetime with them, or when you finally get to hug them after months, make it all worth it.
Theodore and Samantha share some beautiful moments together, even while she’s not really there. They go to the beach, they go on double dates with friends, they go on walks and on vacation. It’s all so beautiful how they can share these moments and truly fall in love without any of the physical aspects of the relationship. The scenes where they are happy are so full of light and color, with oranges and reds and pinks, that they make the viewer feel psychically comfortable and happy. And the score reflects those feelings of love and comfort with songs like Song on the Beach and Photograph which feel simultaneously happy and sad while also feeling vulnerable and sentimental which is scary but it just feels right, which is kinda how love feels. I would relate those feelings to the ups of a relationship.
But in order to be a true depiction of a relationship, long distance or otherwise, it must show the lows of said relationship. This movie shows the insecurity that is experienced in long distance relationships very very well. Samantha is essentially a super computer and Theodore is just an overly sentimental man so he continuously feels like he's not good enough or smart enough for her. And Samatha expresses a lot of insecurity about “not having a body”, while that sentiment might not feel very relatable when you think about it, it is. We physically have bodies but our bodies aren't where our partner’s body is. To them, we only exist through memories and Snapchats and FaceTime calls. And the insecurity that it isn't enough is something we've all felt. The movie also plays with the idea of jealousy, cheating, and growing apart. Scenes where these themes are present have a blue tone, and tend to have a lot of empty space. Usually there is a moment in the score with increased reverb and echo to make the viewer feel that downward spiral of loneliness and insecurity.
(Spoiler alert! If you haven't watched the movie go watch it and then come back and read the rest of this article.)
There really are some beautiful moments in this film where you feel Theodore and Samantha's love, but, unfortunately, it’s a sad movie. You feel it all when you watch this movie. Samantha and Theodore’s “breakup” isn't because they had a fight, or because Samantha “cheated,” it was because they grew apart. Despite this breakup, in the end, the film doesn't really feel that sad.
In the final shot, Theodor is seen sitting on the roof with his friend, and the screen is mostly dark and blue (which we've established represents loneliness and negativity). There's also gold and yellow peaking through the clouds and in the city. The gold amidst the blue, I believe, is a visual representation of his love filling up all that loneliness around him. The score in this scene starts slow but as that shot appears and the credits roll, it picks up. The score feels almost inspirational and upbeat.
The movie may be a bit of a downer, especially if you're comparing it to a long distance relationship (like I am). But at the end of the day I don't think the ending is all that sad. Because it isn't one of those depressing movies where they fall out of love and it leaves you questioning if it's even worth it to try (yes, I’m talking about you Blue Valentine). Theodore and Samantha were in love until the end of the film. Even though they don't end up together, they still end up happy. And maybe I'm crazy for thinking this concept gives me hope that love is worth it, but it does.
At the end of the day, long distance is hard. All of us who have had to do it know it takes extra work. This movie perfectly captures how it feels to be in it but it doesn't have to be how it ends.