How to Boost Your Lacking Libido
Nothing is more discouraging than not being able to get into it...and by it, I mean sex. Maybe you want to surprise your partner with a little pre-weekend present after a long week at work, or maybe you just want to keep up with your usual sex life. And then there’s the slump...the overwhelmingly non-existent urge to get your sexy on. Your libido can be doused by a variety of things, from hormone levels to your sleep schedule. Here’s how to get your lacking libido up to its usual speed.
Let’s start with the basics:
1. Make sure you’re getting enough sleep. Nothing kills your energy like not getting enough sleep. It can be super hard to make sure you get the full eight to ten hours, but try to schedule enough time to rest--maybe a short nap throughout the day or when you get home from work.
2. Carefully nourish your body. Everybody loves a deep fried Snickers bar smothered in chocolate to nosh the pain away, but it’s not going to keep you awake and energized in the long run--or at least in the bedroom. Plus certain foods can give you an extra boost as natural aphrodisiacs, including cucumber, banana, avocado, pineapple (yay!), basil and garlic. Chocolate can also be a nice touch--something sweet, sensual and romantic that melts in your mouth.
3. Work up a sweat. Even if it’s just a little. Exerting your body in small ways can actually boost your energy, from doing a few curls before bed to taking the stairs to practicing yoga. This isn’t about fulfilling body “goals” or living up to some crazy body standard. This is about your body being awake. You’re much more likely to have a stronger reaction to stimulation when you’re awake and ready to go. Sex is also a great way to keep your body active! Just imagine the endorphins.
Next is stress. Nothing--nothing--kills your sex drive like stress. A lot of times, we can’t control the majority of stress in our lives, whether that’s work or school or home situations. But destressing plays a major role in preparing the mind and body for sex, so that staying awake in the bedroom doesn’t feel like a chore.
4. Take up sexy meditation. Yes...sexy meditation. This is just my interpretation: meditate, take some quiet moments/minutes/hours to deeply release and feel. Be aware of your body, how it feels and where your wants and desires are. What areas of your body need the most attention? Quietly listening can help you zero in on your body’s ebbs and flows.
5. Sink into an extra hot bubble bath with a bath bomb of your favorite scent and some soothing oils...a personal favorite that never fails to relax and rejuvenate.
6. Communicate your stress to your trusted partner. This isn’t an order to use your lover as an acting therapist, but they do care about you. Communicating your needs and feelings can help you work with them as a team, especially when it comes to your sex life. It’s also important to resolve any tension between you and your partner. It’s difficult to want to have sex when there’s no sense of emotional closeness; any harbored resentment needs to go out the window, and trust needs to be restored.
And on to the fun stuff: setting the mood! Everyone loves a good vibe, and here’s a few ways to make it a sexy one.
7. Scent is a huge factor when it comes to the overall feeling of sexiness. Not only do our natural scents provide reproductive cues to our partners, but smelling good can also serve as a basis of attraction--even if your strawberry-scented lotion doesn’t exactly compare to your natural odor. NO DOUCHING, though. That’s not the kind of smell we're looking for. Try a subtle perfume or a sweet-scented lotion, or a candle to add an intimate glow.
8. Clean up your home. That certainly doesn’t sound sexy, but a Cheetos bag crunching around on the bed when you’re trying to get hot and heavy isn’t exactly optimal. If cleaning isn’t really your thing, put an emphasis on the bedroom--clean sheets, a made bed, no dirty clothes on the floor.
9. Put on your favorite lingerie. Whether that’s a lacy pair of matching bra and panties, or a bustier with garters or a leather bodysuit. Wear something that makes you feel sexy.
10. If all else fails, settle down with an erotic novel or intimate movie. Preferably in a hot bath or curled up in bed. You’ll be ready to go in no time. Bonus points if it plays into one of your kinks.
These tried and true tips can help you out in the short term. But if you’re having consistent problems that aren’t going away, it’s never wrong to seek professional help. There are many medical conditions and medications that can heavily influence your libido; maybe there’s a roadblock when it comes to sharing intimacy with your partner. Licensed professionals can help you sort through these dilemmas and get you on a path that works best for you. Don’t be afraid to take the step toward something we all deserve: a healthy and sexy sex life.