The Magic of Lingerie

photo by Daria Sannikova

I can’t be the only person who thinks shopping for lingerie is more fun than shopping for actual clothes. Even if I’m not buying anything, I get excited scrolling through the Intimates page on a  clothing site or shifting through racks and drawers in the undergarment section of a department store. Lingerie is fun to look at, and it’s thrilling to think of its possibilities — and it feels daring to openly explore that part of my sexuality. 

Of course, we’ve all seen lingerie at some point — even if we haven’t specifically shopped for it. Whether that be during a trip to the store, in film or across adult media, lingerie is a widely known icon, but (ironically) not often readily discussed. The lace and garters come with a hefty cultural and stigmatized implication: lingerie = sex. I’m not going to deny it; lingerie usually does serve as an attraction in the bedroom. But that sheer chemise is a star player on a few other courts, too. 

By definition, lingerie holds the power of self-expression. It’s a tool to flaunt your sexual and interpersonal desires, regardless of gender, sexual orientation, or intimate preferences. Just as our clothing serves to amplify and project our identities, lingerie takes on this mantle to push through social constructs of expression that tell us to present ourselves for other people. Lingerie is a personal, more private means of expressing our inner desires and instincts free of judgement from the outside world. We have the power to reveal it, or to keep it stowed away as a treasured secret. What we wear for ourselves, even if we are the only ones who see it, can express what cultural stigma oppresses in our day-to-day lives.

It is for this reason that lingerie has become a symbol for sexual liberation, femininity, and power. We can use it to channel our inner kings, queens, goddesses, and Supreme Leaders — and we can wear it whenever and however we want — to feel whatever we want — in that moment.

Because of this, the term “lingerie” is amazingly broad. “Lingerie” doesn’t have to be a boned bustier or a fur-lined camisole. It doesn’t have to be adorned with ribbons or sparkles, or be entirely made of leather. Lingerie is what makes you feel sexy, whether that’s a pair of naughty crotchless panties or subtle flower-shaped pasties, or a bright pink merry widow. Lingerie doesn’t have to follow a cultural stereotype. It doesn’t need to be overly feminine or insanely expensive. Sexy can be anything as long as it’s you. 

It’s strange, then, to think about how lingerie has been historically viewed as something only for our partners’ benefit. I’m not going to deny the sexual appeal of lingerie in romantic relationships. Sometimes wearing lingerie is more of a turn-on than just being naked. Part of the magic of the lingerie is that it can spice things up in the bedroom through dress-up and roleplay, or even taking on a whole new persona for the night. Turning up the heat with your partner is definitely a benefit. But it isn’t the only benefit. The real kicker is that lingerie can give us more confidence in the bedroom, which makes what we say and do all the more alluring. After all, I know why lingerie is so fun to shop for: I feel fucking awesome when I wear it. 

Many people wear lingerie purely for themselves, without any partner or external validation in mind, just because they want to. Lingerie isn’t only an amazing tool for sexual expression and exploration, but it works wonders for confidence. We tend to reflect the mood of what we choose to wear, and dressing in ways we feel accurately represents who we are causes us to stand, speak, and move with more confidence. Wearing lingerie — indulging in what makes us feel sexy— can make us feel more confident not only in the bedroom but in our own skin. Depending on our objectives, embracing confidence on such an internal and intimate level can carry out into other aspects of our lives, including social spheres, professional workplaces, and, of course, romantic relationships. 

That might seem like a stretch. But if we look into the deeper, truer meaning of lingerie — acknowledging, appreciating, and admiring our bodies on an artistic level — it takes shape as a form of self-love. While there are definitely other priorities of self-care that come before buying a set of lingerie, there’s a lot of love and tenderness that goes into choosing one of your own. There’s much more to it than a piece of fabric that gets torn and dirty in the heat of the moment, or winds up forgotten on the floor. 

This isn’t to say that a bustier is an all-encompassing pill for your sex life, or that a pair of furry handcuffs is going to solve all of your problems. But the magic lingerie can bring to your self-image, the manners in which we present ourselves to ourselves is all the more reason to treat yourself to a fit of your liking. Don’t be afraid to slip into something more comfortable and revel in the human superpower you really are.