“Three’s a Crowd”: A Little Guide to Threesomes
Being one of the most searched terms on adult websites, it is no secret that the idea of having a threesome is a lot of peoples’ fantasies - maybe even a bucket list item for some. Whilst many of the pornos and movie sex scenes we see make threesomes look so easy, having your first threesome can be quite nerve-wracking. However, I hope with this mini-guide, threesomes are perhaps easier than you might think.
The Talking Stage
As I have mentioned, a lot of porn and films have very little talking when instigating a threesome. Of course for actors, it’s going to be a lot easier - it’s acting at the end of the day and they know what they are doing. In real life, a threesome consists of talking beforehand and that’s okay. Whether it be your first time or your one-hundredth threesome in a year, you need to make sure everybody is on board with it. I know it is such a typical thing to say but, it’s so important: consent is key. If you are perhaps a lot more experienced in your threesome career but somebody in the group has never had one before, you need to make sure that they are okay with what’s going to happen during your time together. Setting boundaries is so important and don’t feel cowardly if you have more boundaries than another person. If you don’t want to be fingered, let them know; if you don’t want to give oral sex, let them know. The whole point about having a threesome is being at ease and comfortable - it can be quite a daunting thing being naked and having sex in front of one person, let alone two!
Boundaries are just as important when looking at your personal life as well as your intimate life. For example, when looking for a potential someone for you and your partner, it is important to look at who is on-limits and off-limits. I think this is quite key if you are in a monogamous relationship, for example: Can friends be invited to threesomes? Co-workers? Exes? Is there a risk of being jealous and cheating? If this is something on your mind when thinking about instigating a threesome, it is important to address this with one another and establish your boundaries.
The Importance of Protection
Sleeping and engaging in intimate moments with someone who feels that protection is important is very comforting and puts the mind at rest. Regardless of the sex, condoms are key. Whether it is a boy/girl/girl threesome, extra condoms would be great to switch around between partners to avoid anything being transmitted. If no penises are involved in your threesome, condoms are great to put on sex toys to make for easier cleanup! Of course, whenever we see a threesome sex scene, we don’t see any STI and STD checks after. I know putting a cotton swab up your vagina isn’t the sexiest thing but, it’s the best way to still have fun and be safe. I would one-hundred and ten percent advise on getting checks after!
Mise-en-sex-scène
The best way to make sex even better than it already is: the atmosphere. Ambient lighting and music are the classic ways we can make everything feel sexier. Some candles are a lovely way to make a room more ambient but, make sure they’re a safe distance away! We don’t want any accidents. Just generally stay away from harsh, bright lighting - unless that’s your type of vibe. I think music can make the room feel less awkward too - nobody wants any awkward silences! An inviting room will make the situation feel a lot more comfortable. I think in situations like threesomes, it’s incredibly important to make the surroundings welcoming and inviting for everybody involved.
I know this isn’t a detailed guide on all the tips and tricks you can show off in a threesome but, it’s a guide on things to take into account - before, during, and after. Although it is one of the most popular sexual fantasies, it can be incredibly daunting for a first experience. As well as consent, the main thing to remember with sex is: it’s about the journey not the destination. In a situation of a threesome, make sure everybody involved is comfortable and having fun. See - easy.