What I’ve Learned From TikTok Sex Educators
“The dick doctor told me what to do he went / Ooo eee, Ooo ah ah, ting tang
Wanna touch your ding dong / Ooo eee, Ooo ah ah, put in my poon tang”
This cover by Gag Me may be lost in time, but never in my memories. I was invited to perform this on stage with the band four-ish years ago. I remember it fondly, although it was probably cringey for anyone else involved.
I’ve never had an aversion to vulgar jokes, or in this case, songs. NOTE: Unless it is from men. But when it comes to talking seriously about sex… I find it as awkward as ever. I usually squirm and find it easier to turn it into a joke. Pack it up, Comedy Central!
This may be due to my conservative upbringing in which sex = death, or my Southern SexEd in which sex = death & hell. Nevertheless, when my TikTok algorithm began feeding me advice from therapists and finally sex therapists, I was grateful. Through this platform, I am able to comfortably seek out information that is usually an unbearable task.
While TikTok is not a substitute for real therapy, it can be a gateway to finding sexual help less intimidating. Keep in mind that these videos are usually offering very general advice, so you’re missing out on you-specific help. “You can’t put advice on social media that is going to apply to every single person looking at it,” says licensed mental health counselor Rachel Gersten in an article for Cosmo.
So, if you find helpful coping mechanisms through the video app - amazing! If not, no problem. Luckily, mental and sexual therapy stigmas are being challenged with each generation. With some research, I’m sure you could find what works for you best.
But, if you’re giving TikTok a try, I suggest you don’t just search “sex therapy.” There are apparently a lot of (not great) songs under the title. So, here are my favorites with a little bit of what I’ve learned from them.
Sexedu
Get secs educated from a peer! Sexedu’s page is complete with dances, memes, and sexpertise. If you want more, check out Sriha Srinivasan in VICE’s Finishing School series.
Embed: https://www.tiktok.com/@sexedu/video/6881434038783986950
Dr. Jennifer Lincoln
Dr. Jennifer Lincoln’s bio reads “The health class you wish you had in high school.” I couldn’t agree more. My SexEd in high school was completely based on abstinence and slut-shaming, so maybe anything is a step up from that.
Embed: https://www.tiktok.com/@drjenniferlincoln/video/6866513407940611334
Sex Ed with Danielle Bezalel
If you’d like some comedy along with vital information, check out Sex Ed with DB. This sex educator is actually funny, LGBTQ+ inclusive, and has a podcast!
Embed: https://www.tiktok.com/@sexedwithdb/video/6869356617725463813
Dr. Nicole Sparks
If you’ve never been to the gyno, it can be scary! Dr.Nicole, an OB/GYN based in Atlanta, offers real advice on what to expect at the gyno and information on contraceptive pills. If you’d rather read, check out her blog!
Embed: https://www.tiktok.com/@nicolealiciamd/video/6843546923555671301
Dr. Staci Tanouye
Dr. Staci T is the hero we may not deserve, but so desperately need. She is the queen of dispelling rumors about sex and basic anatomy. Find all the answers to your questions on this page, plus much needed mental health checks and short meditation exercises.
Embed: https://www.tiktok.com/@dr.staci.t/video/6872785308463811846?lang=en
Remember, this is not the end-all, be-all for sexual education and therapy, but it can be a start. While all things are virtual, seek help wherever you can -- even TikTok. Whether or not you’re having “secz time,” comprehensive sex education helps us all better understand our bodies.
When asked about debunking false information (like should yogurt be used to cure a yeast infection ???), Dr. Jennifer Lincoln explains, “Women's health seems to have the market on misinformation. And a lot of it goes back to [the fact that] we're not taught in school how our bodies work. There's shame around periods. There's shame around discharge. There's shame about knowing if sex should hurt. It's an underground festering of old wives tales and misinformation.”
Combat that misinformation and slut-shaming through education! Follow, research, find what works for you, lock the doors, and turn the lights down low.