What Twilight Taught Me About Love and Relationships

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Quarantine has been bringing a lot of new opportunities to revisit the media on your “Recommended” list. Unfortunately, all this extra time materializes in horrifying suggestions like “Do you want to watch Twilight?” and prevents me from going to my usual excuses, which are “Sorry, I’m busy,” or “Sorry, I’m tired.” Instead, I’m forced to respond, “I mean... No, but I’ll do it.” 

After some deliberation, I decided to give the franchise a second chance. Maybe my previous hatred had stemmed from internalized sexism and misogyny. Around the same time, I remember classmates making fun of Justin Bieber for “sounding like a girl” and trashing Megan Fox for leaving the Transformers movies. Maybe with a set of mature, fresh eyes, the Twilight movies would prove worthy of my time.

Spoiler Alert: They did not.

To save you the pain of rewatching the series, I’ve compiled five lessons from Twilight about how to live your best romantic life. Trigger warnings for racism, fetishization, suicidal thoughts, depression, and abuse. 

  • Normal women are inherently annoying and superficial, so girls should make a point to be bitchy about normal things that make other humans happy.

Arguably, Twilight’s main theme is its battle against “normality.” And. I’m. Sick. Of. It.

From the comparisons between Bella and her friend Jessica to Bella deciding between Edward and Jacob, to Bella’s constant whining about prom and marriage, the Twilight franchise oozes the “not like other girls” phenomenon. Throughout the films, you constantly see Bella eschew her “normal” life with friends and family in favor of pursuing her dangerous, romanticized, toxic life with Edward. 

Arguably, the best personification of normality is Jessica, one of Bella’s first friends at her new school. She talks about dresses, boys, and material goods and acts as an overall representation of “girly” behavior. 

Interestingly, the movies don’t really paint Jessica as unintelligent, but they do frame her as superficial. She gives the commencement speech at graduation, and she analyzes a movie’s metaphor for consumerism with Bella. But she fishes for compliments after her speech, and she complains that “some girls like to shop” in protest to the movie’s metaphors. Compared to Bella, who hates shopping, prom, and the normal boys at school, Jessica is seen as vapid and self-absorbed. Girls are supposed to look down on Jessica’s love for normal “feminine” things and be more like Bella, who goes to a bookstore instead of trying on dresses. 

It’s a forced narrative that often makes girls feel like they have to stand out in order to be noticed by men. They want to distance themselves from femininity and stability in favor of unhealthy romantic relationships. It’s the entire point of the movie franchise, and it’s extremely damaging to women, who can’t help but be like other women, as women are diverse and different and not a singular entity. 

If you’d like a more thorough explanation, La Nouvelle Romantique explains it well. But I’m going to stop myself here so I don’t write an entire essay on this point alone. 

  • It’s really attractive and not creepy when men are obsessed with you

Edward watches Bella as she sleeps! Without her knowing! It’s a super common joke, but it’s also totally worth mentioning. 

On top of that, he stalks her, lowkey gaslights her through hallucinations and even breaks her car to prevent her from seeing Jacob.

That’s not cute behavior. And it’s not love. That’s obsessive codependency, and it shouldn’t be romanticized. As Robert Pattinson himself says, “If Edward was not a fictional character and was a man, in reality, you know, he’s one of those guys that would be an axe murderer.”

  • Sacrificing your life with family and friends to be with your partner is a sign of true love and not at all a red flag for an abusive relationship. 

Bella’s choice between Jacob and Edward represents her choice between a “normal” and “different” lifestyle. With Jacob, Bella can see her friends and family as often as she wants. As the partner of a werewolf, she doesn’t have to leave her normal life behind. 

If Bella turns into a vampire, however, she is forced to avoid her parents and friends. She will never age, and she will never experience the regular milestones of life like everyone else.

In Eclipse, Bella tells Edward:

This wasn’t a choice between you and Jacob. This was a choice between who I should be and who I am. I’ve always felt out of step, literally stumbling through my life. I’ve never felt normal. I don’t wanna be. I’ve faced death, and loss, and pain in your world, but I’ve also never felt stronger, like more real, more myself, because it’s my world too. It’s where I belong.”

Bella chooses Edward to be a part of his dangerous, exotic, supernatural world. As a testament of true love, she gives up her entire life to pursue this romantic relationship. 

But as Jacob shows, there is a way for her to have both romance and normality. And her life with Jacob is actually the healthier, more emotionally stable option. Outside of exceptions like homophobia or toxic familial relationships, your partner should not force you to give up your family and friends to be with you. That’s an imbalanced relationship, and it’s unhealthy to revolve your life and happiness around your partner. 

  • The solution to chronic depression and suicidal thoughts? A romantic relationship! 

I can’t talk about New Moon for too long without exploding, so I’ll try to quickly summarize the plot. Edward leaves Bella because he’s unsafe for her. Bella plunges into a year-long depression where she often fantasizes and considers death. After a lot of bullshit and miscommunication, Edward thinks Bella killed herself, and he goes off to do the same. Then, they get back together! 

But it’s not enough for the Twilight franchise to convey that Edward solves Bella’s depression. They also seem to imply that any romantic relationship could have fixed Bella’s problem, and I honestly can’t tell if that’s better or worse.

In the movie, Bella explains that time with Jacob had almost healed her heart. She only felt better when she was around him. Her father, friends, and hobbies couldn’t fix her mental health issues, but her romantic interest in Jacob almost solved the problem.

New Moon is a shitshow, and even fans of the franchise seem to agree. The movie implies that girls need a boyfriend to survive. If they like someone, and that person breaks up with them, their life is over. Then they have two options: get that person back or replace them with someone else. According to New Moon, there is no other way for someone to move on to a healthy, happy life.

I hope you can see what’s wrong with those statements, because I’ve already spent more time than I thought was possible thinking about this movie, and I’m ready to be done. Moving on. 

  • It’s very hot when someone manipulates you into kissing them by threatening to go on a suicide mission. 

I was convinced that Stephanie was convinced she was Bella. And especially when she says it was based on a dream. And it’s like, oh, I had this dream about this really sexy guy, and she just writes this book about it… It’s like, this woman was mad.”

This was also a statement by Robert Pattinson, who as usual, hits the nail on the head. 

The entire dynamic between Edward and Jacob feels like Stephanie Meyers’ wildest fantasy come true. She constantly forces Jacob, Bella, and Edward into incomprehensible situations (even for a world with vampires and werewolves) that allow her to bask in the glory of a love triangle. 

Many of these situations involve possessive, manipulative behavior. We’ve previously mentioned Edward breaking Bella’s car. If you liked that, you might enjoy Jacob forcing Bella to admit her feelings for him so he doesn’t get hurt!

In short, Jacob states, “Maybe I’ll get myself killed and make it simple for you,” which causes Bella to plead with him to stay back and think more clearly. He rejects Bella’s love proclamation that basically states how important he is to her and how she doesn’t want to lose him (because girls are only worth something to guys when they can offer something romantically or sexually, right?). Eventually, they kiss, and he promises that he’ll “be back.”

It’s heartbreaking how many times I’ve seen this in relationships. People will imply that their mental health relies on their partner, and they might even go so far as to threaten to hurt themselves.

You are not responsible for anyone’s mental health but your own (and probably your children’s, with respect to age and exceptional circumstances). This type of behavior is not romantic or okay. Nobody should guilt-trip their friends, family, or partners into being their emotional support.

In conclusion: Edward, Jacob, and Bella are manipulative and in toxic relationships with each other. Bella is tortured by the “not like other girls” mentality, and Twilight pretends that abuse and possessive behavior is cute or romantic. 

We didn’t have time to touch on Bella’s treatment of her parents, age gaps, power dynamics, racism, and fetishization of Indigenous people, but hopefully, this is enough to convince you that Twilight is not a good series. 

Watch with caution, and don’t date vampires.

Sources:

Romantic, Celyra The. “You’re Not Cool, Just Sexist: Why Your ‘I’m Not Like Other Girls’ Act Is Bullshit.” Nouveaux Romantiques, 29 Dec. 2015, nouveauxromantiques.wordpress.com/2015/12/29/actually-you-are-like-other-girls-why-your-im-not-like-other-girls-act-is-bullshit.

“Robert Pattinson Hates Twilight.” YouTube, uploaded by Artavius Peppercorn, 18 Nov. 2012, www.youtube.com/watch?v=nFA6Ycch1EM.

“The Twilight Saga: Eclipse - Movie Quotes - Rotten Tomatoes.” Rotten Tomatoes, 30 June 2010, www.rottentomatoes.com/m/1210749_eclipse/quotes?

Caratas, Nicole. “A Definitive Ranking of the ‘Twilight’ Movies” The Observer, 24 Mar. 2017, ndsmcobserver.com/2017/03/definitive-ranking-twilight-movies.

“The Twilight Saga: Eclipse (2010).” IMDb, www.imdb.com/title/tt1325004/characters/nm1210124. Accessed 2020.

Jennifer Marerbatch 2